I have been following the news reports quite closely from the moment I heard 2 prisoners escaped from the Clinton Correctional Facility a NY State maximum security prison. This story is very personal to me as a victim of a violent sexual predator who currently serves a 21 year sentence in a Pennsylvania maximum security prison and then will be transferred to an Idaho maximum security prison to serve a Life sentence. In the time period leading up to my attacker's, Jeffrey Marsalis, trial and during my counseling I shared my fear that he would escape, somehow find and harm me for testifying against him. Although seemingly irrational and I've spent a lot of time working through it, there was and (now proven) is a very small chance it could happen.
The two convicted felons (Richard Matt & David Sweat) now on the loose were heinous, vicious murderers and I can imagine what the victims are thinking and feeling until they are finally caught and returned to prison. As the details unfolded and continue to do so every day I think about them because I know from personal experience the fears I had that they are now living out in real time. If I could I would speak to them or meet with them face to face to show my support and share that I want to be there however they may need me.
As if it wasn't bad enough that these violent men were now free it was then reported that a prison employee took it upon herself to not just decide that a judge and jury conviction was incorrect but to help the two escape. I don't care that she may have been charmed by one or both of them or whatever else her attorney may explain away her behavior but she went to the next level by assisting them. Since her arrest I watch the footage of Joyce Mitchell online or on television and get extremely angry. My disgusted reaction is a result of my knowledge and experience of what it takes to put a criminal behind bars no matter what the crime and how high the stakes and the personal investment made not just from the victims and their families but from law enforcement and the prosecutors office. Every step throughout the legal process is, as I see it, another hurdle to get over in order to get justice as a victim. The stress and anxiety experienced can only be described as all consuming until the verdict comes in from the Jury and they say the magic word "GUILTY". But even then there is still one more hurdle to overcome and that's the sentencing by the judge. Will it be what the accused and now convicted deserves?
So the trial and sentencing are over and the convicted are "safely" away in prison only does the real healing begin for the victims and families. But not in this case! If this was happening to me I would show up in court every day that Joyce Mitchell appears and write as many letters as humanly possible to the judge and prosecutors office asking that no mercy and the harshest penalties be imposed on her for undoing what a jury and judge had done. Since it, thankfully, not happening to me what I can do is share my experience and publicly show my support for the families of the victims who crossed paths with those awful men.
Showing posts with label Jeffrey Marsalis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jeffrey Marsalis. Show all posts
Friday, June 19, 2015
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
Spreading the Message
Most recently I began working as an 'extra' for TV & movies and it has not only been a '10' on the scale of cool but the people I'm meeting and working with have been inspiring as well.
I should really explain first how I got into doing this type of work. As some of you well know I moved to LA in late 2013 to start the next chapter of my life with my boyfriend Steve and also begin JoAnnSpeaksOut. Steve has a successful podcast where he interviews anyone and everyone in all aspects of the entertainment industry not to mention he also has a comedy and writing background along with many of his friends working in TV & movies in front of and behind the camera. I have always been a huge fan of television and movies and a self described addict watching hours and hours of both. Steve encouraged me to look into doing extra work for fun and I liked the idea because it's flexible and would fit around my busy schedule.
Another reason I was interested is that I have always lived my life for the experiences. I am not afraid to try new things even if I only do them once which includes traveling the world by myself, trying out as a Philadelphia Eagles cheerleader and many others that I won't go into now. After the Jeffrey Marsalis trials were over, I knew he was safely behind bars for Life and my counseling was completed successfully the drive and determination for me to never regret "NOT" doing something was even more prevalent. I have been known to say that I will not lay on my death bed replaying my life and thinking of the things I didn't do but only the things I did.
So even though I'm only a few weeks into this new work I have been deeply moved by the responses to my answering the questions 'What is it that you do?' and 'What brought you to working as an extra?' Because extra work brings people from all different backgrounds, ages, places in the world everyone has an interesting story to tell and there is a natural curiosity to learn about those you will be working with for what could be long hours. I answer the question by being brief and straight to the point "I'm a speaker and advocate for sexual assault awareness". This brings a multitude of reactions but NEVER a negative one. Some ask if it's due to a personal experience, some ask that I elaborate on where and how I work and spread my message, others have taken me aside to discuss the subject or ask me a lot of questions or my opinion on the latest news topics surrounding sexual assault. In the past few days a young girl opened up to me about her assault and counseling and an older gentlemen offered contact information for the family crisis center where he volunteers as a math/physics tutor when I asked him while elaborating they really need someone like me to come in and speak there. Finally a young guy told me of a smart phone app he has developed to help women in an emergency situation so I gave him my card and offered to share that information in a later blog when he was ready to market it.
At the kickoff for SAAM (April 1st) I felt it fitting that I share the positive experiences I've had in such a short period of time spreading the message of sexual assault awareness to such a broad audience. This is the best outcome I could ever wish for as part of my JoAnnSpeaksOut mission. All the victims, survivors, advocates and activists want is for people to start talking about the subject as if it was any other topic to be discussed. the time is way past due to bring it out of the shadows and raise the voices above a whisper when the words rape, date rape, sexual assault are spoken.
I think we are there and I couldn't be more excited about the future because if everyone starts talking about it the victims can begin to heal the perpetrators can be arrested and prosecuted and shame can be a thing of the past.
I should really explain first how I got into doing this type of work. As some of you well know I moved to LA in late 2013 to start the next chapter of my life with my boyfriend Steve and also begin JoAnnSpeaksOut. Steve has a successful podcast where he interviews anyone and everyone in all aspects of the entertainment industry not to mention he also has a comedy and writing background along with many of his friends working in TV & movies in front of and behind the camera. I have always been a huge fan of television and movies and a self described addict watching hours and hours of both. Steve encouraged me to look into doing extra work for fun and I liked the idea because it's flexible and would fit around my busy schedule.
Another reason I was interested is that I have always lived my life for the experiences. I am not afraid to try new things even if I only do them once which includes traveling the world by myself, trying out as a Philadelphia Eagles cheerleader and many others that I won't go into now. After the Jeffrey Marsalis trials were over, I knew he was safely behind bars for Life and my counseling was completed successfully the drive and determination for me to never regret "NOT" doing something was even more prevalent. I have been known to say that I will not lay on my death bed replaying my life and thinking of the things I didn't do but only the things I did.
So even though I'm only a few weeks into this new work I have been deeply moved by the responses to my answering the questions 'What is it that you do?' and 'What brought you to working as an extra?' Because extra work brings people from all different backgrounds, ages, places in the world everyone has an interesting story to tell and there is a natural curiosity to learn about those you will be working with for what could be long hours. I answer the question by being brief and straight to the point "I'm a speaker and advocate for sexual assault awareness". This brings a multitude of reactions but NEVER a negative one. Some ask if it's due to a personal experience, some ask that I elaborate on where and how I work and spread my message, others have taken me aside to discuss the subject or ask me a lot of questions or my opinion on the latest news topics surrounding sexual assault. In the past few days a young girl opened up to me about her assault and counseling and an older gentlemen offered contact information for the family crisis center where he volunteers as a math/physics tutor when I asked him while elaborating they really need someone like me to come in and speak there. Finally a young guy told me of a smart phone app he has developed to help women in an emergency situation so I gave him my card and offered to share that information in a later blog when he was ready to market it.
At the kickoff for SAAM (April 1st) I felt it fitting that I share the positive experiences I've had in such a short period of time spreading the message of sexual assault awareness to such a broad audience. This is the best outcome I could ever wish for as part of my JoAnnSpeaksOut mission. All the victims, survivors, advocates and activists want is for people to start talking about the subject as if it was any other topic to be discussed. the time is way past due to bring it out of the shadows and raise the voices above a whisper when the words rape, date rape, sexual assault are spoken.
I think we are there and I couldn't be more excited about the future because if everyone starts talking about it the victims can begin to heal the perpetrators can be arrested and prosecuted and shame can be a thing of the past.
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Start By Believing
'Start By Believing' is part of a unique citywide awareness campaign focused on the public response to sexual assault in addition to the police and health care workers. On March 18th the Denver Police Chief Robert White and Mayor Michael Hancock held a press conference to announce the campaign and what led to its creation. In a rare collaboration the Denver Police Department approached Denver NBC9 News anchor Kyle Clark to take part in the Start By Believing Campaign. Kyle has made the commitment to him and says they were raped or sexually assaulted he will Start By Believing and encourages others to do the same. In the next few weeks he is also sharing survivor stories during the evening newscast in order to spread the campaign's message and create broader public awareness. Survivors will tell what it was like and the positive impact it has when someone did believe them.
As a survivor of date rape I can't express enough how important that first reaction is to a victim when they share their rape or sexual assault with a trusted friend, family member and/or law enforcement. I was very lucky to have support from everyone I told but have heard way too many stories from victims who have gathered the courage to tell someone and received indifferent or negative reactions. I have heard the detective victimizing the accuser during the report or police officers making statements of judgment as to the victims actions before and during the assault or what they may have been wearing. Other victims have told me of family and friends marginalizing the assault or encouraging them not to pursue reporting because it will be shameful for the family or no one will believe them anyway.
The Denver Chief of Police is asking that officers to believe the victim when they come forward to tell their story. The idea behind it being a presumption of belief is the best way to catch rapists because on average a sexual predator attacks 6 times so if the first victim is not believed then the potential for 5 more assaults can occur. If I hadn't thought my story and the events of that night wasn't so odd or unusual I would have come forward and told someone, most likely a friend but it would have been a start. There were so many more victims my attacker Jeffrey Marsalis assaulted after me that my speaking out may have prevented any number of them. It took a lot of counseling for me to work through that guilt.
Furthermore, Police officers told anchor Kyle Clark that if they start by believing it's simply to treat the claim as any other crime reported then the case has the opportunity for a thorough and fair investigation. Isn't that all a victim really wants anyway which is to be treated fairly? I'll answer that, YES!
More details and information provided in the links below.
Denver NBC9 News Report
Start By Believing Campaign Information
As a survivor of date rape I can't express enough how important that first reaction is to a victim when they share their rape or sexual assault with a trusted friend, family member and/or law enforcement. I was very lucky to have support from everyone I told but have heard way too many stories from victims who have gathered the courage to tell someone and received indifferent or negative reactions. I have heard the detective victimizing the accuser during the report or police officers making statements of judgment as to the victims actions before and during the assault or what they may have been wearing. Other victims have told me of family and friends marginalizing the assault or encouraging them not to pursue reporting because it will be shameful for the family or no one will believe them anyway.
The Denver Chief of Police is asking that officers to believe the victim when they come forward to tell their story. The idea behind it being a presumption of belief is the best way to catch rapists because on average a sexual predator attacks 6 times so if the first victim is not believed then the potential for 5 more assaults can occur. If I hadn't thought my story and the events of that night wasn't so odd or unusual I would have come forward and told someone, most likely a friend but it would have been a start. There were so many more victims my attacker Jeffrey Marsalis assaulted after me that my speaking out may have prevented any number of them. It took a lot of counseling for me to work through that guilt.
Furthermore, Police officers told anchor Kyle Clark that if they start by believing it's simply to treat the claim as any other crime reported then the case has the opportunity for a thorough and fair investigation. Isn't that all a victim really wants anyway which is to be treated fairly? I'll answer that, YES!
More details and information provided in the links below.
Denver NBC9 News Report
Start By Believing Campaign Information
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
'Social Media Nightmares' Premiere
Within the past few months I have written a few posts referring to an interview I had been preparing for to be aired on an internationally reaching cable TV channel. I am happy and excited to announce that the show titled 'Social Media Nightmares' aired on E! True Hollywood Stories on Wednesday February 25th at 10:00pm and will soon be linked to my website. I am part of the episode to include several other stories and will be speaking about meeting my attacker Jeffrey Marsalis on Match.com, the sexual assault, rape crisis counseling and trials to follow. My interview airs in the 1st 15 minutes of the show. The Producer that I worked with was and continues to be passionate and supportive of me and the subject of date rape and sexual assault and her commitment to get the story out there was relentless. I am so grateful and lucky to be part of this show which hopes to reach the largest audience yet of all my television interviews.
E! True Hollywood Story 'Social Media Nightmares' Interview
If you're interested in reading my previous posts and thoughts at the time I was contacted, preparing and completing my interview they are 'Never Forget Why' and 'Continued Media Interests'. I am really looking forward to seeing the final product as I don't get the view the edited version until it premieres on TV just like everyone else. Although it's important for my message to reach all ages and genders, this show should reach the more targeted audience that is at risk for acquaintance rape, date rape and sexual assault and the E! channel is prime to reach that audience.
I would very much appreciate if everyone who reads this could share the link. The more people who view the show the greater the chance that a victim of sexual assault can receive the help they need or better yet my story could somehow prevent future victims. An event has also been created on my Facebook page JoAnn Speaks Out that you can Like, Comment and Share.
E! True Hollywood Story 'Social Media Nightmares' Interview
If you're interested in reading my previous posts and thoughts at the time I was contacted, preparing and completing my interview they are 'Never Forget Why' and 'Continued Media Interests'. I am really looking forward to seeing the final product as I don't get the view the edited version until it premieres on TV just like everyone else. Although it's important for my message to reach all ages and genders, this show should reach the more targeted audience that is at risk for acquaintance rape, date rape and sexual assault and the E! channel is prime to reach that audience.
I would very much appreciate if everyone who reads this could share the link. The more people who view the show the greater the chance that a victim of sexual assault can receive the help they need or better yet my story could somehow prevent future victims. An event has also been created on my Facebook page JoAnn Speaks Out that you can Like, Comment and Share.
Sunday, February 8, 2015
A "Life" Sentence - No Other Option
The other day I read a tweet posted and a link from a BBC News report regarding a child rapist who died in a Scottish prison. The gentleman who tweeted our the story also added his personal opinion of "that's where they all should die". (Jan L Frayne @Beyond_Survivor)
If you have followed my story and read my blog I have stated the same fate should fall upon all rapists. The only sentence a rapist should receive after a conviction is a "Life" sentence. There is no rehabilitation for a rapist of any kind (child or adult). Most have been repeat offenders before they are ever caught and stand trial. Then once they serve out their imposed sentences they return to society to repeat their crimes of sexual assault, the very reason the sex offender label was introduced into the legal system. They need constant monitoring once released because simply stated there is no cure for a rapist.
My own experience with serial date rapist Jeffrey Marsalis and the research I have done since his arrest, trials and sentences allows me to make such a statement. He raped dozens of women before me and dozens of women after me and his violent reckless behavior was only escalating. There is no telling what he would have done if not for his final arrest in Idaho and the investigation by the Philadelphia Special Victims Unit and District Attorney's office as a result of what was revealed from the search of his apartment there.
I am not only speaking for myself but for many of his other victims that I met during and was finally able to have intimate conversations with after Marsalis' convictions. We didn't feel safe and were concerned for the safety of other women who may be potential future victims if he didn't receive a significant prison sentence and sex offender status. Our ultimate goal though was for him to receive a "Life" sentence and none of us were going to stop until that happened. We were also very lucky to have an amazing team of detectives and prosecutors with the same drive and passion for that goal too. Jeffrey Marsalis (as with many rapists) didn't think he did anything wrong and his defense team used the "blame the victim" strategy during all 3 of his trials which reaffirmed what we wanted as far a sentencing. We all knew that when or if he got out of prison he would rape again period!
When I tell my story on college campuses, to victims advocates, television and radio interviewers I don't hesitate to say once I reveal his Life sentence conviction that he will never walk the streets again and the next time I 'see' him it will be to dance on his grave. It may seem callous to some but as a victim of Jeffrey Marsalis and witnessing first hand how he not only affected my life, my family's and friend's lives and his other victims as a result of his heinous, predatory crimes it's not so callous after all. He will never hurt another woman again and if it could be one of my wishes it's that all victims of sexual assault get to feel as safe as I do now from their attackers.
Prison is the only place for a rapist and a Life sentence is the only punishment option.
Below is a link to the story that inspired this blog.
Friday, December 19, 2014
Hindsight is 20/20
Why is it that rape victims are offered unsolicited, useless advice after an attack? As if the suggestions offered to them wouldn't have been carried out while they were being assaulted if that was even a remote possibility. Do they think they are helping? Better yet those who take it upon themselves to judge a rape victims circumstances as to the amount of time it took to report her attack or her actions following the assault.
Rape victims experience complex physical and emotional feelings during and after an assault. If they were drugged and rendered completely unconscious for the entire sexual assault as I was but knew sex had occurred and I didn't consent it's very hard to verbalize the attack to anyone. The victims I know floated in and out of consciousness while Jeffrey Marsalis raped them, some describing it as having been in a dream like and confused state.
Reporting is also a complicated decision. Rape victims are ashamed, confused and question what they did to provoke being attacked. All you want to do is forget about it not relive what happened to strangers (i.e. police, doctors, advocates). Because I was drugged I wasn't even sure of all the details because my memory was fragmented only remembering prior to being drugged or after I woke up 8 hours later. How do you explain to someone what happened when you can't explain it to yourself? Why subject yourself to questions that you don't have the answers to?
We are seeing a lot of delayed reporting in the news lately with the Bill Cosby accusers. Their accounts of having been drugged and raped (some failed attempted sexual assaults by him) are decades old therefore being scrutinized by the public only reinforcing what the women thought immediately following their attacks. "He's a powerful celebrity, who is going to believe me?" Fans of the actor/comedian and skeptics immediately turn to the claim that a victim is in it for the money. Trust me when I say it's never for the money or the attention. If it were so easy to come forward and solicit monetary compensation or seek media attention then why wait 10, 20, 30 and almost 40 years? The victims are accused of reporting now for the same reasons the victims didn't come forward to report their sexual assaults originally. The skeptics can't have it both ways.
The public and media have the benefit of assessing accusers and their stories after the fact but the victim doesn't have that luxury because she is living in it. Let's give victims the benefit of the doubt because it's easy to go back but impossible to look forward.
Rape victims experience complex physical and emotional feelings during and after an assault. If they were drugged and rendered completely unconscious for the entire sexual assault as I was but knew sex had occurred and I didn't consent it's very hard to verbalize the attack to anyone. The victims I know floated in and out of consciousness while Jeffrey Marsalis raped them, some describing it as having been in a dream like and confused state.
Reporting is also a complicated decision. Rape victims are ashamed, confused and question what they did to provoke being attacked. All you want to do is forget about it not relive what happened to strangers (i.e. police, doctors, advocates). Because I was drugged I wasn't even sure of all the details because my memory was fragmented only remembering prior to being drugged or after I woke up 8 hours later. How do you explain to someone what happened when you can't explain it to yourself? Why subject yourself to questions that you don't have the answers to?
We are seeing a lot of delayed reporting in the news lately with the Bill Cosby accusers. Their accounts of having been drugged and raped (some failed attempted sexual assaults by him) are decades old therefore being scrutinized by the public only reinforcing what the women thought immediately following their attacks. "He's a powerful celebrity, who is going to believe me?" Fans of the actor/comedian and skeptics immediately turn to the claim that a victim is in it for the money. Trust me when I say it's never for the money or the attention. If it were so easy to come forward and solicit monetary compensation or seek media attention then why wait 10, 20, 30 and almost 40 years? The victims are accused of reporting now for the same reasons the victims didn't come forward to report their sexual assaults originally. The skeptics can't have it both ways.
The public and media have the benefit of assessing accusers and their stories after the fact but the victim doesn't have that luxury because she is living in it. Let's give victims the benefit of the doubt because it's easy to go back but impossible to look forward.
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Not What I Wanted to Hear
...A few weeks before the trial was to begin on May 21st, I received a call from the the ADA Joe Khan. I had already received my subpoena and spoken with Joe several times in the previous months regarding my preparation and how things were to proceed throughout the trial so I wasn't expecting to hear what he had to say that day. It was one of those after standard business hours calls as Joe was always working hard on the case. He said that everything was progressing well but they had made an important decision regarding me and the charges I pressed against Jeffrey Marsalis that were included with the other victim's as part of the trial. He said they were going to drop the charges and that I would not be testifying. This was an important strategic decision that he and his team had made as they were thinking long term in case this upcoming trial outcome went the way of the January 2006 trial against Marsalis. (Reminder: Three women accused him of drugging and raping them but he was acquitted on all charges.)
My first reaction was a mixture of shock, sadness and disappointment. It was absolutely the last thing I had expected to hear after putting so much of myself out there and working so hard emotionally to get ready for the trial. Joe gave me plenty of time to digest what he had told me and let me express my thoughts and ask all the questions I had for him. He thoroughly explained that there were specific details of my case that were very important and if he was acquitted again or didn't received a sufficient enough sentencing in either the Philadelphia or Idaho trial then they could proceed with my individual case. Joe made sure that I was in support because it directly affected me. I told him I trusted him and whatever decisions he made and he obviously knew much better than I did on the subject. The reality of this meant that I would be in it for much longer than I initially anticipated but as I had said to him several times before I was committed for as long as they needed me to be. Jeffrey Marsalis was a predator and a monster that victimized dozens of women, took no responsibility for his violent actions as he didn't think he did anything wrong and if given the chance would get out of jail and commit those heinous crimes again and again. No matter how difficult this was for me I was not going to let that happen as long as I took a breath.
Joe did say that I would continue to be an important part of this trial. He would need me to stand united with the other victims in the courtroom and I would be asked to attend the closing arguments and if the trial went well the sentencing. He said I had already been a part of getting to where they were and he would continue to directly keep in contact with me. I was very happy to hear that knowing all I had been through so far served a purpose. I asked him a few more minor questions and he said he would be calling me again soon.
This would be another topic for discussion at my next session with Laura. I really wanted to get up and testify but she had some amazing insight and helped me work through every aspect of what the consequences of testifying would involve. There actually was an up side to not testifying and that was 'what if the jury didn't believe me?' I would have been through all that for nothing. As much as everyone in law enforcement had been supportive that didn't mean a jury of my "peers" would and that would be devastating. She let me verbalize my feelings to her and again this was helpful because I could be completely open and honest with her. She was the only one every time and I was thankful for that. Even with the prosecutor these feelings were not something I would express to him as I knew his job was hard enough without have to be my sounding board too. The first day of trial was coming up quickly and my anxiety level was also going up...
My first reaction was a mixture of shock, sadness and disappointment. It was absolutely the last thing I had expected to hear after putting so much of myself out there and working so hard emotionally to get ready for the trial. Joe gave me plenty of time to digest what he had told me and let me express my thoughts and ask all the questions I had for him. He thoroughly explained that there were specific details of my case that were very important and if he was acquitted again or didn't received a sufficient enough sentencing in either the Philadelphia or Idaho trial then they could proceed with my individual case. Joe made sure that I was in support because it directly affected me. I told him I trusted him and whatever decisions he made and he obviously knew much better than I did on the subject. The reality of this meant that I would be in it for much longer than I initially anticipated but as I had said to him several times before I was committed for as long as they needed me to be. Jeffrey Marsalis was a predator and a monster that victimized dozens of women, took no responsibility for his violent actions as he didn't think he did anything wrong and if given the chance would get out of jail and commit those heinous crimes again and again. No matter how difficult this was for me I was not going to let that happen as long as I took a breath.
Joe did say that I would continue to be an important part of this trial. He would need me to stand united with the other victims in the courtroom and I would be asked to attend the closing arguments and if the trial went well the sentencing. He said I had already been a part of getting to where they were and he would continue to directly keep in contact with me. I was very happy to hear that knowing all I had been through so far served a purpose. I asked him a few more minor questions and he said he would be calling me again soon.
This would be another topic for discussion at my next session with Laura. I really wanted to get up and testify but she had some amazing insight and helped me work through every aspect of what the consequences of testifying would involve. There actually was an up side to not testifying and that was 'what if the jury didn't believe me?' I would have been through all that for nothing. As much as everyone in law enforcement had been supportive that didn't mean a jury of my "peers" would and that would be devastating. She let me verbalize my feelings to her and again this was helpful because I could be completely open and honest with her. She was the only one every time and I was thankful for that. Even with the prosecutor these feelings were not something I would express to him as I knew his job was hard enough without have to be my sounding board too. The first day of trial was coming up quickly and my anxiety level was also going up...
Saturday, July 12, 2014
It was Worth It
...The prosecutor stood up and began by asking me the basics, name, etc. for the record. He then took me through the circumstances of how I met Marsalis, meeting via Match.com, speaking on the phone and planning our date. He asked things such as what I thought as I spoke with him on the phone and when we finally met face to face. He walked me step by step through that evening including where we went, our conversation, what and how much we drank. He asked that I describe what I was thinking as the evening progressed and if I liked him and what, if any, was the potential of a future date based on my initial feelings. All of this was for purposes of showing that Marsalis fabricated his identity to me and he was using this false information to charm me into trusting him. It also showed that Marsalis used a similar if not exact plan when he was meeting and luring women using Match.com for the purpose to ultimately drug and rape us.
We then got to the part of the evening where I was going to have to describe in open court and to a room full of strangers the most embarrassing story I was ever going to tell. Joe took me through those details slowly and it was difficult but somehow I got through it knowing this was for something much bigger than just me and how I felt.
Next it was the defenses turn to ask questions and guess who stands up? His female attorney! Now once I had time to reflect on this much later it was obvious why he had a male and female defense team. That reasoning being so not to have the male attorney look insensitive when questioning the victims. Well let me tell you it backfired on me because the more time I took answering her questions the more strength I gained. It was like a revelation. I had so little respect for her personally that it made it easier for me. In my mind I was thinking "who do you think you are?" There is no way I should be afraid of a woman who defends rapists. She actually kept the number of questions for me brief which threw me off a bit when she said she was done, but great the fewer questions the better.
Then, unexpectedly, the judge turned to me and said she had a couple of questions. They were very basic, she was really nice and thanked me when she was done. I was told that would be it for the day, got up and the bailiff escorted me out of the courtroom. One of Joe's associates followed me out and told me I did great. Of course I wasn't feeling great but I didn't have to do that again for a long time and that was a good thing. Now I had to get back to work and try to get on with my day.
The next day I had taken off from work but had lunch plans. I got up and out to Wawa again to buy the newspapers so I could read their reporting. It was really weird to see your own words in print related such a sensational new story. I had just pulled into the restaurant parking lot when Joe Khan called me as he had news regarding my testimony. He said I did really well and the judge found me credible and held over my charges against Marsalis for trial. I was very happy. Up until that point I was unsure what the respected powers that be would think and I had my answer. He gave me an idea when the trial could be scheduled and said we would speak again in a few weeks regarding preparation for it. But there was going to be a lot more I would have to do to get ready for trial...
We then got to the part of the evening where I was going to have to describe in open court and to a room full of strangers the most embarrassing story I was ever going to tell. Joe took me through those details slowly and it was difficult but somehow I got through it knowing this was for something much bigger than just me and how I felt.
Next it was the defenses turn to ask questions and guess who stands up? His female attorney! Now once I had time to reflect on this much later it was obvious why he had a male and female defense team. That reasoning being so not to have the male attorney look insensitive when questioning the victims. Well let me tell you it backfired on me because the more time I took answering her questions the more strength I gained. It was like a revelation. I had so little respect for her personally that it made it easier for me. In my mind I was thinking "who do you think you are?" There is no way I should be afraid of a woman who defends rapists. She actually kept the number of questions for me brief which threw me off a bit when she said she was done, but great the fewer questions the better.
Then, unexpectedly, the judge turned to me and said she had a couple of questions. They were very basic, she was really nice and thanked me when she was done. I was told that would be it for the day, got up and the bailiff escorted me out of the courtroom. One of Joe's associates followed me out and told me I did great. Of course I wasn't feeling great but I didn't have to do that again for a long time and that was a good thing. Now I had to get back to work and try to get on with my day.
The next day I had taken off from work but had lunch plans. I got up and out to Wawa again to buy the newspapers so I could read their reporting. It was really weird to see your own words in print related such a sensational new story. I had just pulled into the restaurant parking lot when Joe Khan called me as he had news regarding my testimony. He said I did really well and the judge found me credible and held over my charges against Marsalis for trial. I was very happy. Up until that point I was unsure what the respected powers that be would think and I had my answer. He gave me an idea when the trial could be scheduled and said we would speak again in a few weeks regarding preparation for it. But there was going to be a lot more I would have to do to get ready for trial...
Friday, July 11, 2014
Ready to Go Again
...Here we go again. It's Thursday morning and I'm getting dressed to go to court. Only this time, I knew the procedure and where I was going. Check my cell phone, go through security, take the elevator to the proper floor and make my down the hall outside the courtroom. The difference that day was obvious, only one other victim besides myself. There were no detectives as they had all testified on Tuesday or media although a few were going to be inside the courtroom. The prosecutor was there with a smaller team of associates but still there to be a show of support for me nonetheless. Joe and I talked briefly in that meeting room outside the courtroom doors then left me there to wait for him to call me in to testify.
It wasn't too long before the door opened and I was ushered into the courtroom and guided up to the stand by the bailiff. I took in my surroundings and also where everyone was in the room. I was walking down the far right aisle and to my left was the galley where the watchers sat. This included the press and the prosecution team was directly behind their table which was just past the gate I walked through. The jury box was to the right (not in use that day), the stand was directly in front of me and the judge to the immediate left. I walked up was sworn in and sat down. The bailiff was so kind to me, quietly asked if I would like some water, which I accepted and said to take my time and try to relax. There was no need for me to rush.
I can't tell you how much those few words and sympathetic gestures meant to putting me slightly more at ease. I was scared, unsure of myself at that moment, apprehensive. This whole thing was so unfamiliar to me (thankfully). Once I sat down I could then get a view of what was in front of me. It was overwhelming because in this particular courtroom the stand sits up a few steps so it's sort of like an SUV where you get to see everything below you. This was the moment when I was able to look to my right at the defense table and not only see his lead attorney whom I had seen being interviewed Tuesday night and saw quoted in those many newspapers I bought the day before but a second attorney on his team, a woman. What woman defends a man accused of multiple rapes and sexual assaults?! Clearly someone with a love of money and nothing else. I had little respect for this woman which turned out in my favor when the time came for me respond to the defenses questions.
Then I saw him, Marsalis, sitting to the far right of the table and thankfully the person sitting furthest from me in that room. He looked so different from the tall, good looking guy I met online and agreed to go on a date with. The past +1 year in jail had clearly taken its tole on his appearance, wow! I probably don't need to tell you that rapists do not do well in jail and he had been housed with some of Philadelphia's worst criminals all awaiting their court dates. It was mentioned at one point that he had to be put into protective custody because of the negative treatment he was receiving. A small consolation to me I can assure you and it could certainly be seen on his face. Yet he was still able to carry off that smug look and belief in that he did nothing wrong even to this day.
Seeing him most certainly unnerved me. It almost took my breath away but I had to remember why I was there and what he had done to not only me but so many women. There was no time to lose focus. As a victim I had a responsibility to myself and his other victims including those that could speak and did and those that could not or would not speak for whatever reason that didn't matter. I was going to tell the judge and a courtroom full of people what he did to me and how wrong it was. The bailiff then brought me the cup of water and it was time to begin...
It wasn't too long before the door opened and I was ushered into the courtroom and guided up to the stand by the bailiff. I took in my surroundings and also where everyone was in the room. I was walking down the far right aisle and to my left was the galley where the watchers sat. This included the press and the prosecution team was directly behind their table which was just past the gate I walked through. The jury box was to the right (not in use that day), the stand was directly in front of me and the judge to the immediate left. I walked up was sworn in and sat down. The bailiff was so kind to me, quietly asked if I would like some water, which I accepted and said to take my time and try to relax. There was no need for me to rush.
I can't tell you how much those few words and sympathetic gestures meant to putting me slightly more at ease. I was scared, unsure of myself at that moment, apprehensive. This whole thing was so unfamiliar to me (thankfully). Once I sat down I could then get a view of what was in front of me. It was overwhelming because in this particular courtroom the stand sits up a few steps so it's sort of like an SUV where you get to see everything below you. This was the moment when I was able to look to my right at the defense table and not only see his lead attorney whom I had seen being interviewed Tuesday night and saw quoted in those many newspapers I bought the day before but a second attorney on his team, a woman. What woman defends a man accused of multiple rapes and sexual assaults?! Clearly someone with a love of money and nothing else. I had little respect for this woman which turned out in my favor when the time came for me respond to the defenses questions.
Then I saw him, Marsalis, sitting to the far right of the table and thankfully the person sitting furthest from me in that room. He looked so different from the tall, good looking guy I met online and agreed to go on a date with. The past +1 year in jail had clearly taken its tole on his appearance, wow! I probably don't need to tell you that rapists do not do well in jail and he had been housed with some of Philadelphia's worst criminals all awaiting their court dates. It was mentioned at one point that he had to be put into protective custody because of the negative treatment he was receiving. A small consolation to me I can assure you and it could certainly be seen on his face. Yet he was still able to carry off that smug look and belief in that he did nothing wrong even to this day.
Seeing him most certainly unnerved me. It almost took my breath away but I had to remember why I was there and what he had done to not only me but so many women. There was no time to lose focus. As a victim I had a responsibility to myself and his other victims including those that could speak and did and those that could not or would not speak for whatever reason that didn't matter. I was going to tell the judge and a courtroom full of people what he did to me and how wrong it was. The bailiff then brought me the cup of water and it was time to begin...
Thursday, July 10, 2014
Live to Tell Another Day
...As the late hour of 6:00pm was approaching the number of victims waiting in the hallway to be called to testify was dwindling I was getting a sinking feeling that I would have to come back. Nine women had been called to the stand and two of us remained. Joe Khan came out of the courtroom with his boss, the chief of the unit he worked for, and approached me. They brought me into one of those private rooms and relayed the bad news to me. The judge extended the court session as long as she could for the day and had to hold over the remainder of the preliminary hearing for Thursday. They only scheduled them on Tuesday and Thursday. I was promised to be put up on the stand first and they both apologized.
Needless to say I lost control of my emotions (yet again) and burst into tears. The anxiousness I had felt leading up to and all that had gone on that day had taken its tole on me. I was so ready to testify and had built up my courage but I never expected that the day wouldn't go as planned and there would be a chance I would have to come back. Now I had to wait some more and start the process of mentally and emotionally preparing again for Thursday. They did their best to console me and explained the motions filed earlier in the day delayed the start of court and the length of the time it took for each victim to testify they simply ran out of time in the courts day. I said I understood that it wasn't their fault and told them how ready I was and wanted to get it over with but I would be back Thursday morning and ready to go again. Of course now I'm thinking I took and entire day off from work and would now have to request more time off for the Thursday morning. Not to mention as a personal aside, Halloween is one of my favorite Holidays and I had plans to go to my brother's house to see my niece and nephew's costumes and steal some of their candy :-). I was clearly planning on getting out of there much sooner than I did. The entire day was a huge letdown for me on so many levels.
We finished up our conversation and discussed some final details. Joe then explained to me the press was outside the building waiting for a statement from the attorneys on both sides and he was going to have Detective O'Malley walk me back to my car which was parked in a garage a few blocks away. He was going to take me out a side entrance of the building and not to worry. He assured me from the distance they wouldn't see me or even realize who I was plus he was going out first to distract them with an interview (which he had to do anyway). I'm not going to lie, that scared me a bit but if you've ever seen Detective O'Malley you would know your safety was assured. We waited a few minutes after Joe left then made our way down the elevator, I retrieved my coat checked cell phone and walked out the side door. We stopped at the corner before crossing and I looked left toward the entrance to see the large group of reporters with their microphones, cameras and lights interviewing Joe. How surreal! The detective and I exchanged small talk on the way to my car. I thanked him, said good bye and drove home.
I called my brother to say I obviously wouldn't be stopping by as it was late and I was exhausted. Remember he didn't know yet so I told him I had worked late. I got home and called my mom to review the days events and also called my friend Renee to let her know real quick what had happened. I was exhausted and hungry, but not tired. My mind was racing and I was frustrated. I ate a little something, took a shower in hopes of washing some of the days events off me and got in bed to try to relax and watch TV. I stayed up for the news in order to see the report of the hearing and Joe's interview. I also got up early the next morning so I could stop at the Wawa before work and gather up all the papers that covered the story. I wanted to see how it was being reported and continued this thirst for the news throughout the entire trial process. I think it somehow made me feel better to read and see the sensational reporting of the monster they called the Match.com rapist...
Needless to say I lost control of my emotions (yet again) and burst into tears. The anxiousness I had felt leading up to and all that had gone on that day had taken its tole on me. I was so ready to testify and had built up my courage but I never expected that the day wouldn't go as planned and there would be a chance I would have to come back. Now I had to wait some more and start the process of mentally and emotionally preparing again for Thursday. They did their best to console me and explained the motions filed earlier in the day delayed the start of court and the length of the time it took for each victim to testify they simply ran out of time in the courts day. I said I understood that it wasn't their fault and told them how ready I was and wanted to get it over with but I would be back Thursday morning and ready to go again. Of course now I'm thinking I took and entire day off from work and would now have to request more time off for the Thursday morning. Not to mention as a personal aside, Halloween is one of my favorite Holidays and I had plans to go to my brother's house to see my niece and nephew's costumes and steal some of their candy :-). I was clearly planning on getting out of there much sooner than I did. The entire day was a huge letdown for me on so many levels.
We finished up our conversation and discussed some final details. Joe then explained to me the press was outside the building waiting for a statement from the attorneys on both sides and he was going to have Detective O'Malley walk me back to my car which was parked in a garage a few blocks away. He was going to take me out a side entrance of the building and not to worry. He assured me from the distance they wouldn't see me or even realize who I was plus he was going out first to distract them with an interview (which he had to do anyway). I'm not going to lie, that scared me a bit but if you've ever seen Detective O'Malley you would know your safety was assured. We waited a few minutes after Joe left then made our way down the elevator, I retrieved my coat checked cell phone and walked out the side door. We stopped at the corner before crossing and I looked left toward the entrance to see the large group of reporters with their microphones, cameras and lights interviewing Joe. How surreal! The detective and I exchanged small talk on the way to my car. I thanked him, said good bye and drove home.
I called my brother to say I obviously wouldn't be stopping by as it was late and I was exhausted. Remember he didn't know yet so I told him I had worked late. I got home and called my mom to review the days events and also called my friend Renee to let her know real quick what had happened. I was exhausted and hungry, but not tired. My mind was racing and I was frustrated. I ate a little something, took a shower in hopes of washing some of the days events off me and got in bed to try to relax and watch TV. I stayed up for the news in order to see the report of the hearing and Joe's interview. I also got up early the next morning so I could stop at the Wawa before work and gather up all the papers that covered the story. I wanted to see how it was being reported and continued this thirst for the news throughout the entire trial process. I think it somehow made me feel better to read and see the sensational reporting of the monster they called the Match.com rapist...
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
Waiting is the Hardest Part
...We had been sitting there for about an hour and I could see activity with the prosecution team as they would go in an out of the courtroom. The hearing was scheduled to begin at 9:00am but it was way beyond that time. The prosecutor, Joe Khan, came up to give me the first of many updates I would be receiving that day. He said the defense team had been filing some motions and the judge was hearing them and Joe was arguing them. The end result was the hearing would now begin at Noon. As I stated in my last post I would be one of the last women to testify so I was in for a long day. Joe said they would go back to their offices and return before then and asked if I needed anything. Ever the planner I had brought a book and snacks to eat and drink so I decided to stay there and read. I was told in the days leading up to the hearing they didn't know how long we would be there so I made sure I had something to occupy my brain and stomach. I needed to keep as clear a head as possible and hunger would not be a good thing. Most everyone else left so I sat enjoying the quiet especially after what I had unexpectedly experienced earlier walking off the elevator onto the floor where the courtroom was.
At about 11:00 or 11:30 everyone started trickling back into the hallway and the busyness began again. Most of the prosecution team, all the detectives and media entered the courtroom while the victims and a few of Joe Khan's associates stayed out in the hall. There was a small room outside of each of the courtroom doors which were on both sides. It had a table and 4 chairs and was used by the attorneys to have private conversations with their clients prior to entering court. This was used throughout the day as a place where the victim and their family/friends were brought just prior to them testifying. One by one each victim would be called into the courtroom.
A few vivid memories of that day really stick out in my mind. #1 being how long it seemed that each victim stayed in there to testify. It seemed as if the other victims waiting, including myself, looked at their watch each time one of us went in and then would look at each other as time seemed to tick by as if it was taking too long. Almost as if we were trying to prepare ourselves but didn't know what was becoming obvious to us, that testifying wasn't going to go as quickly as we had hoped. Not only that but, vivid memory #2 was how dramatic and emotional the exit was of each victim leaving the courtroom. The doors seemed to be pushed open with as much force as humanly possible so as to get out of there as quickly as possible. They were each crying uncontrollably and being surrounded by their loved ones. Joe's associates would take them aside and do the best to console them. Which I can tell you from experience was kind words of support and how good we performed on the stand. I am not going to lie this was really getting scary. Not only that but time was ticking away and the clock was approaching 6:00pm which is unheard of for a court session. I would soon be given some devastating news...
Monday, July 7, 2014
Time to go to Court
...I woke up the morning of October 31st the day of the preliminary hearing thinking I was as ready as I'll ever be. So I made some tea and a bowl of cereal and turned on the local news. BIG MISTAKE! Why? Because Jeffrey Marsalis' mug shot went up on the screen and the anchor began to report the story of the accused Match.com rapist and the 11 women prepared to testify later that day. What little was holding me together came completely unglued at that moment. No one is ever prepared to see a report on the news about their life. Up until that point I was focused on all that I had to deal with since Christmas week the previous year. As I sat staring at the TV screen the tears came rushing out. I was flooded with emotion and the realization that what I was doing was much bigger than I was allowing myself to think up until that point. I had a good cry and then got myself together, got dressed, got in my car and drove to the courthouse. I simply didn't have time to sit around the house letting out my emotions.
The courthouse itself was overwhelming. Philadelphia is a large city with a criminal courts building multiple stories high. I walked into the main entrance, had to relinquish my cell phone where it was actually checked into a box like a coat at a restaurant and was handed a ticket. Once I got through the airport like security lines I made my way towards the elevator and stepped off the floor of my assigned courtroom and was in for my second shock of the morning. The scene outside the courtroom was like right out of a movie. I couldn't believe how many people were there. I saw the prosecutor, Joe Khan and his team of associates even his boss, the chief of the unit was checking in throughout the day. Detective O'Malley was there with many of the other detectives from the Special Victims Unit and a local FBI agent too working as part of the federal investigation. The other victims were there but we were separated since an important part of the prosecutions case was that although our stories of encounters with Marsalis were eerily similar we had never met or spoken to each other and shared our personal assaults in any way.
Even though I was sitting alone I was never left alone for long. The police and prosecutors continued to check in on me to see how I was doing, if I needed anything and to keep me informed as to where there were as to who was and who will be testifying next. What I did know was that some other victims had traveled a distance to come and testify and others had certain family/personal commitments and because I lived nearby I would be one of the last women to testify.
Among the large group in the hallway that day were members of the local print and television media. While I was sitting there a familiar TV reporter from a channel I watched daily came to sit down next to me. He was polite, introduced himself and extended his hand to shake mine. I responded by shaking it back and saying hello. We exchanged brief pleasantries and he asked if I was an attorney. I simply said no and offered nothing else. It was like he read my mind and knew I was one of the victims. He responded ok, that it was nice to meet me got up and walked away. His kindness and compassion I will remember forever. He is still a reporter at NBC10 in Philadelphia, his name is Harry Hairston and he deserves to be recognized for that. Throughout the prelim, trial, sentencing and following the press has always reported the story but been in my mind leaned towards the victims side. That in of itself was comforting to a sexual assault victim.
There was one other person I met that day who would turn out to be a "life saver". Kathy from WOAR (Women Organized Against Rape) sat down next to me and introduced herself and explained the services they offered. WOAR is one of the original and oldest rape crisis centers in the country and set the benchmark for all others. Kathy was a court advocate and her job is to make sure rape victims know that WOAR is available to them for counseling services, hotline, essentially a safe place for them to go. She took my name and provided me with her business card. I took it, thanked her and said good bye but had no idea how much I was going to need their services. Six weeks later I would be making a phone call...
The courthouse itself was overwhelming. Philadelphia is a large city with a criminal courts building multiple stories high. I walked into the main entrance, had to relinquish my cell phone where it was actually checked into a box like a coat at a restaurant and was handed a ticket. Once I got through the airport like security lines I made my way towards the elevator and stepped off the floor of my assigned courtroom and was in for my second shock of the morning. The scene outside the courtroom was like right out of a movie. I couldn't believe how many people were there. I saw the prosecutor, Joe Khan and his team of associates even his boss, the chief of the unit was checking in throughout the day. Detective O'Malley was there with many of the other detectives from the Special Victims Unit and a local FBI agent too working as part of the federal investigation. The other victims were there but we were separated since an important part of the prosecutions case was that although our stories of encounters with Marsalis were eerily similar we had never met or spoken to each other and shared our personal assaults in any way.
Even though I was sitting alone I was never left alone for long. The police and prosecutors continued to check in on me to see how I was doing, if I needed anything and to keep me informed as to where there were as to who was and who will be testifying next. What I did know was that some other victims had traveled a distance to come and testify and others had certain family/personal commitments and because I lived nearby I would be one of the last women to testify.
Among the large group in the hallway that day were members of the local print and television media. While I was sitting there a familiar TV reporter from a channel I watched daily came to sit down next to me. He was polite, introduced himself and extended his hand to shake mine. I responded by shaking it back and saying hello. We exchanged brief pleasantries and he asked if I was an attorney. I simply said no and offered nothing else. It was like he read my mind and knew I was one of the victims. He responded ok, that it was nice to meet me got up and walked away. His kindness and compassion I will remember forever. He is still a reporter at NBC10 in Philadelphia, his name is Harry Hairston and he deserves to be recognized for that. Throughout the prelim, trial, sentencing and following the press has always reported the story but been in my mind leaned towards the victims side. That in of itself was comforting to a sexual assault victim.
There was one other person I met that day who would turn out to be a "life saver". Kathy from WOAR (Women Organized Against Rape) sat down next to me and introduced herself and explained the services they offered. WOAR is one of the original and oldest rape crisis centers in the country and set the benchmark for all others. Kathy was a court advocate and her job is to make sure rape victims know that WOAR is available to them for counseling services, hotline, essentially a safe place for them to go. She took my name and provided me with her business card. I took it, thanked her and said good bye but had no idea how much I was going to need their services. Six weeks later I would be making a phone call...
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Not So Fast
...During my interview/statement with Detective O'Malley I learned a lot about the developing case against my attacker and the upcoming January 2006 trial where he would stand accused of drugging and raping three women. Remember these were the charges in which Marsalis skipped bail and fled to Idaho only to rape again and that ultimately brought me into the investigation. Up until now I had only spoken with one person from the Philadelphia ADA's team and not him directly. The reason is there are certain steps that have to be taken when there is a possibility of a case going to trial. One being a victim's statement is given to the police first and then it's passed along to the district attorney's office so they can build their case for trial.
I received a call from the ADA who had been working on all cases related to Marsalis' victims. His name is Joe Khan and I would soon learn what a brilliant, passionate attorney he was and dedicated to getting Marsalis convicted and put in prison. He is a kind and gentle man too. Just the right balance for someone dealing with victims of such heinous crimes as rape, sexual assault and domestic violence. It was because of his tireless efforts, everyone working in the Family Violence and Sexual Assault unit of his office along with the many detectives of Special Victims that it would make my involvement in this process just a little bit easier. In the months and years to come during the preliminary hearing and trial process Joe Kahn would earn status as my hero and many of the other victims. When I called he picked up the phone personally, remembered me immediately and would start right in on any discussion of case details I was calling about. He worked nights and weekends, I know this because I would receive calls from him during these particular hours.
So Joe Khan called me in late January with good and bad news. First the bad news, Marsalis was acquitted on all charges brought against him by those three women BUT the good news was because, in part, of my statement and charges brought to police the detectives walked into the courtroom after the verdict and re-arrested him. I was told he was completely shocked and angry. That made me smile a little. Hey I would take those tiny victories every chance I got! He was taken back to jail to await the next preliminary hearing. Of course bail wasn't even an option since he had not only violated his previous bail agreement but committed the same crime again. Joe told me that I would be testifying at a preliminary hearing later that year (date TBD) and he would continue to be in contact with me as the details unfolded. Now it was time for he and I to meet face to face so we could review my statement given to the detective and he could ask me questions as part of the pre-trial preparation. He reassured me that his associate would be in the office with us, the one I originally spoke with a month earlier, and they would do their best to make me feel as comfortable as possible. We set the appointment, he gave me directions and said good-bye.
This would be another step in the marathon trial process...
I received a call from the ADA who had been working on all cases related to Marsalis' victims. His name is Joe Khan and I would soon learn what a brilliant, passionate attorney he was and dedicated to getting Marsalis convicted and put in prison. He is a kind and gentle man too. Just the right balance for someone dealing with victims of such heinous crimes as rape, sexual assault and domestic violence. It was because of his tireless efforts, everyone working in the Family Violence and Sexual Assault unit of his office along with the many detectives of Special Victims that it would make my involvement in this process just a little bit easier. In the months and years to come during the preliminary hearing and trial process Joe Kahn would earn status as my hero and many of the other victims. When I called he picked up the phone personally, remembered me immediately and would start right in on any discussion of case details I was calling about. He worked nights and weekends, I know this because I would receive calls from him during these particular hours.
So Joe Khan called me in late January with good and bad news. First the bad news, Marsalis was acquitted on all charges brought against him by those three women BUT the good news was because, in part, of my statement and charges brought to police the detectives walked into the courtroom after the verdict and re-arrested him. I was told he was completely shocked and angry. That made me smile a little. Hey I would take those tiny victories every chance I got! He was taken back to jail to await the next preliminary hearing. Of course bail wasn't even an option since he had not only violated his previous bail agreement but committed the same crime again. Joe told me that I would be testifying at a preliminary hearing later that year (date TBD) and he would continue to be in contact with me as the details unfolded. Now it was time for he and I to meet face to face so we could review my statement given to the detective and he could ask me questions as part of the pre-trial preparation. He reassured me that his associate would be in the office with us, the one I originally spoke with a month earlier, and they would do their best to make me feel as comfortable as possible. We set the appointment, he gave me directions and said good-bye.
This would be another step in the marathon trial process...
Monday, June 30, 2014
The Predator
...I walked out of the SVU building with my mind racing. How could I have looked into the face of a monster and not even known it?! Well you know how? The most practiced frauds use the same story and details over and over again and in the case of Jeffrey Marsalis he wasn't living a lie apart from another life like most other criminals/abusers/assaulter's this was his "life". His name was the only real thing about him, the credentials in his wallet, the Match.com profile and his apartment were all set up with the one and only fraudulent story that he was telling his victims but it was a part he was playing as others would testify to in court i.e. a neighbor, landlord, etc. The reason why I believed what he was telling me is because he believed what he was telling me. It took me several years and countless counseling sessions to come to terms with this. I had very good instincts, was a 37 year old independent woman, with a college education, owned my own home, traveled the US and internationally by myself and been single (no long-term relationships) for most of my adult life. Although I admitted in my statement to the detective, there were tiny red flags that went up on two occasions, one being the unusual number of pictures on his dating profile (pre social media so yes it was odd) and the other being some timelines that weren't fitting with his supposed medical education, hospital residency and astronaut training but I told myself "well it's a first date and you don't want to be conducting a lie detector test". I could ask more questions at another time. We were having a good time, the conversation was easy, he was charming, good looking and a veteran predator!!! It's why I say in every speech I give and in every interview why it's so important to trust your instincts. You know what's right for you and what's going on around you. If something doesn't feel right then it's probably not.
As the trial process moved forward I was going to meet many other women just like me. He had a type. He was arrogant and a narcissist and only "dated" educated, independent, good looking women. I know this because I sat in court with them and in interviews with them. I also know that from speaking with them how similar his "courting" process was, the things he said to us and even the bars he took us to. It was like they knew my story somehow but they didn't because it was their story too. These women are the only ones in the world that know how I feel, the what if's, the why's. We are part of an elite club that you do not want to be a member of ever. Most have moved on to new towns, new careers, marriages. We would not let him win. I'm am proud to say that I have become very close friends with one of them. Although we live far apart we are in constant contact and almost never talk about him. All that enlightenment was not to come for another few years. I got in my car and on the drive to work was consumed with my thoughts which were racing. I would think about this 24/7 for the next several years.
As the trial process moved forward I was going to meet many other women just like me. He had a type. He was arrogant and a narcissist and only "dated" educated, independent, good looking women. I know this because I sat in court with them and in interviews with them. I also know that from speaking with them how similar his "courting" process was, the things he said to us and even the bars he took us to. It was like they knew my story somehow but they didn't because it was their story too. These women are the only ones in the world that know how I feel, the what if's, the why's. We are part of an elite club that you do not want to be a member of ever. Most have moved on to new towns, new careers, marriages. We would not let him win. I'm am proud to say that I have become very close friends with one of them. Although we live far apart we are in constant contact and almost never talk about him. All that enlightenment was not to come for another few years. I got in my car and on the drive to work was consumed with my thoughts which were racing. I would think about this 24/7 for the next several years.
Sunday, June 29, 2014
The Ugly Details
...As would with many days to come, I walked off the elevator and onto the floor where the Philadelphia Special Victims Unit office was and had no idea what to expect. I met with Detective O'Malley who was a kind, compassionate man yet tenacious when it came to his role in the investigation of Jeffery Marsalis. He showed me into the interview room and we started to talk. I was to give my statement and he would explain the details of the extensive case already prepared. He walked me through every detail of my "date" with Marsalis. In the two hours I spent with Detective O'Malley I learned a lot of about the man I had only 1 date with.
I was told that Dr. Jeff (his Match.com profile name) wasn't really a doctor nor was he a part of the NASA training program for astronauts. You see his profile had many pictures of him in scrubs and his white coat and formal pictures taken by NASA in an astronaut uniform. Not only that but during our date he opened his wallet to show me medical credentials from a prestigious Philadelphia hospital and those provided by NASA too. All the photos and credentials were fake. I learned that he never even came close to completing his college education therefore not a doctor or an astronaut. He at one point in his life had been an EMT and also taken some nursing school classes. This training would allow him to get by just enough while fabricating stories about his identity.
I was told there was an upcoming trial in January 2006 involving Marsalis in which 3 women accused him of raping and drugging them in order to commit the sexual assaults. While out on bail for that trial he fled Philadelphia for the state of Idaho to a resort town he was familiar with because he vacationed there with his family as a child. He then befriended a woman, went out to a bar for some drinks and subsequently drugged and raped her. As it turned out she was a lesbian a detail she had disclosed to him while they were together. She woke up the next morning in the exact same manner of undress and sickness as I had but immediately knew something wasn't right because she never would have consented to sex with a man. This brave woman called her sister who took her to the hospital for an examination and the police were called. The police ran his name, saw his prior arrest in Philadelphia and got a search warrant for his apartment. They discovered a computer and substance he was mixing up himself and using as his date-rape drug. This is where the EMT training and nursing school courses involving medications and drugs came in handy for him.
As far as the police were concerned the computer was full of evidence that would be used in the investigation that I was now a part of. If you watch TV series and movies involving criminal investigations they often talk about criminals keeping trophies from their crimes. Marsalis' computer had dozens of Match.com profiles of his victims that he saved and mine was one of them. The call to me less than a week earlier was the result of that computer search. They already had one trial pending and another victim accusing him of being drugged and raped so the prosecutor began contacting all the women whose profiles they found in order to find out if they knew Marsalis and what had happened to them if anything.
My head was spinning!! I was sitting there telling the detective an extremely personal and embarrassing story and to add to that I find out there were so many more women like me who had been lied to and sexually assaulted by the same man. I got angry!! The detective was wrapping up our conversation and completing my statement when he asked one final question. He asked me if I wanted to press charges against Jeffrey Marsalis and my response without hesitation was "HELL YES!". It's funny now because the detective wrote my words down verbatim. It was at that moment I knew I was going to do whatever I had to and forever how long it took to put my rapist behind bars for as long as possible. If it was up to me (and it was) I would never let him do this to another woman ever again. I just didn't know the impact those words would have on my future and life going forward.
Detective O'Malley was explaining some final information about what I could expect next as part of the police and court process and mentioned to me that because of the number of victims in this case and it's salacious details there may be some involvement by the local press. I really wish I would have taken those words more seriously because it would play an important part of what was to come next for me...
I was told that Dr. Jeff (his Match.com profile name) wasn't really a doctor nor was he a part of the NASA training program for astronauts. You see his profile had many pictures of him in scrubs and his white coat and formal pictures taken by NASA in an astronaut uniform. Not only that but during our date he opened his wallet to show me medical credentials from a prestigious Philadelphia hospital and those provided by NASA too. All the photos and credentials were fake. I learned that he never even came close to completing his college education therefore not a doctor or an astronaut. He at one point in his life had been an EMT and also taken some nursing school classes. This training would allow him to get by just enough while fabricating stories about his identity.
I was told there was an upcoming trial in January 2006 involving Marsalis in which 3 women accused him of raping and drugging them in order to commit the sexual assaults. While out on bail for that trial he fled Philadelphia for the state of Idaho to a resort town he was familiar with because he vacationed there with his family as a child. He then befriended a woman, went out to a bar for some drinks and subsequently drugged and raped her. As it turned out she was a lesbian a detail she had disclosed to him while they were together. She woke up the next morning in the exact same manner of undress and sickness as I had but immediately knew something wasn't right because she never would have consented to sex with a man. This brave woman called her sister who took her to the hospital for an examination and the police were called. The police ran his name, saw his prior arrest in Philadelphia and got a search warrant for his apartment. They discovered a computer and substance he was mixing up himself and using as his date-rape drug. This is where the EMT training and nursing school courses involving medications and drugs came in handy for him.
As far as the police were concerned the computer was full of evidence that would be used in the investigation that I was now a part of. If you watch TV series and movies involving criminal investigations they often talk about criminals keeping trophies from their crimes. Marsalis' computer had dozens of Match.com profiles of his victims that he saved and mine was one of them. The call to me less than a week earlier was the result of that computer search. They already had one trial pending and another victim accusing him of being drugged and raped so the prosecutor began contacting all the women whose profiles they found in order to find out if they knew Marsalis and what had happened to them if anything.
My head was spinning!! I was sitting there telling the detective an extremely personal and embarrassing story and to add to that I find out there were so many more women like me who had been lied to and sexually assaulted by the same man. I got angry!! The detective was wrapping up our conversation and completing my statement when he asked one final question. He asked me if I wanted to press charges against Jeffrey Marsalis and my response without hesitation was "HELL YES!". It's funny now because the detective wrote my words down verbatim. It was at that moment I knew I was going to do whatever I had to and forever how long it took to put my rapist behind bars for as long as possible. If it was up to me (and it was) I would never let him do this to another woman ever again. I just didn't know the impact those words would have on my future and life going forward.
Detective O'Malley was explaining some final information about what I could expect next as part of the police and court process and mentioned to me that because of the number of victims in this case and it's salacious details there may be some involvement by the local press. I really wish I would have taken those words more seriously because it would play an important part of what was to come next for me...
Saturday, June 28, 2014
The Call that Changed my Life
...The next year and half I had changed jobs and made some new friends there and continued to date online using Match.com on and off. In December 2005 I had been dating a guy for about two months although I liked him the signs were there that he was losing interest in me. It was a Friday night and as I sat in my bedroom talking to him on my cell phone I could hear my land line ringing in the kitchen and a message being left on the answering machine. When I finished up my conversation I went in to replay a message by an ADA from the Family Violence and Sexual Assault Unit of the Philadelphia District Attorney's Office. She left no details but asked that I call her back at my earliest convenience. I can laugh about this now almost 9 years later but the first thought that popped in my head was "oh my god who do I know that needs my help?" (Really JoAnn it's you they're calling about!!!) I wrote down the information and made sure I put it aside to take to work with me Monday morning so I could call their office first thing.
I got to work Monday morning settled in at my desk and made the call that would change my life forever. The ADA asked if I knew a Jeffrey Marsalis, which I had to think about because it was a year and a half ago, it was just the one date and remember I decided I would forget about it so until that moment I hadn't thought about him in all that time. Once I confirmed the information she asked me how I knew him and I explained our one date and nothing else. She began to tell me why she was calling me, their investigation and how they came upon my name and personal details. As if a damn had burst the memories or lack thereof from that evening and weekend came back to me, the painful sickness I felt for two days after and the confusion I felt knowing I hadn't intended on or consented to having sex with him at all that night. The missing pieces to the puzzle from that night were all being put into place. I hadn't drank too much, was so violently ill and didn't consent to having sex because he drugged and raped me. Needless to say I forget where I was and lost control of my emotions. I couldn't stop crying. The ADA was kind, patient and understanding. She consoled me as best she could. She said she didn't want to upset me further and just had a couple more quick questions. (I would find out a few days later that the call to me was one of many made to Marsalis' victims as part of their investigation. She ended the call by asking if I would be willing to talk to an SVU detective from the Philadelphia Police Dept and give a statement because they were working together on the case. I said of course and was provided with the Units phone number and told anyone who answered would be able to help me.
After hanging up the phone the first thing I did was get to the ladies room quickly for some privacy as I didn't want to make a scene in my very large office and was still crying pretty heavily. My friend who sat in the cubicle across from me was on my heels and thankfully the bathroom was empty. I told her about the call, the date, everything. I had only been at the company for a year so we weren't friends when this originally happened. She did her best to console me enough that I could get back to my desk. It was barely 9:00am and I had an entire day of work ahead of me not to mention the call I had to make to SVU. They were expecting my call which made it easier once they picked up the phone and I told them who I was and why I was calling. They asked if I preferred a male or female detective, to me it didn't matter but this would be my first experience with the compassion they showed to me throughout the process. I scheduled my appointment for Thursday. It was 6 days before Christmas and already a hectic week. My next call was to my Dr for a blood test prescription to include all sexually transmitted diseases. I would do that on Friday which was supposed to be a day off for a long holiday weekend but the reality was setting in that my life would be changing. I gave myself a pep talk and mentally said I had to suck it up and get over it. Sticking my head in the sand wasn't an option for me. Meeting with the detective was going to be important and I wanted to have all the details I possibly could to provide them as part of the criminal case against my attacker. So for the next 3 days I would be doing a lot of thinking...
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