The Predator

...I walked out of the SVU building with my mind racing. How could I have looked into the face of a monster and not even known it?! Well you know how? The most practiced frauds use the same story and details over and over again and in the case of Jeffrey Marsalis he wasn't living a lie apart from another life like most other criminals/abusers/assaulter's this was his "life". His name was the only real thing about him, the credentials in his wallet, the Match.com profile and his apartment were all set up with the one and only fraudulent story that he was telling his victims but it was a part he was playing as others would testify to in court i.e. a neighbor, landlord, etc. The reason why I believed what he was telling me is because he believed what he was telling me. It took me several years and countless counseling sessions to come to terms with this. I had very good instincts, was a 37 year old independent woman, with a college education, owned my own home, traveled the US and internationally by myself and been single (no long-term relationships) for most of my adult life. Although I admitted in my statement to the detective, there were tiny red flags that went up on two occasions, one being the unusual number of pictures on his dating profile (pre social media so yes it was odd)  and the other being some timelines that weren't fitting with his supposed medical education, hospital residency and astronaut training but I told myself "well it's a first date and you don't want to be conducting a lie detector test". I could ask more questions at another time. We were having a good time, the conversation was easy, he was charming, good looking and a veteran predator!!! It's why I say in every speech I give and in every interview why it's so important to trust your instincts. You know what's right for you and what's going on around you. If something doesn't feel right then it's probably not.

As the trial process moved forward I was going to meet many other women just like me. He had a type. He was arrogant and a narcissist and only "dated"  educated, independent, good looking women. I know this because I sat in court with them and in interviews with them. I also know that from speaking with them how similar his "courting" process was, the things he said to us and even the bars he took us to. It was like they knew my story somehow but they didn't because it was their story too. These women are the only ones in the world that know how I feel, the what if's, the why's. We are part of an elite club that you do not want to be a member of ever. Most have moved on to new towns, new careers, marriages. We would not let him win. I'm am proud to say that I have become very close friends with one of them. Although we live far apart we are in constant contact and almost never talk about him. All that enlightenment was not to come for another few years. I got in my car and on the drive to work was consumed with my thoughts which were racing. I would think about this 24/7 for the next several years.