The Call that Changed my Life

...The next year and half I had changed jobs and made some new friends there and continued to date online using Match.com on and off. In December 2005 I had been dating a guy for about two months although I liked him the signs were there that he was losing interest in me. It was a Friday night and as I sat in my bedroom talking to him on my cell phone I could hear my land line ringing in the kitchen and a message being left on the answering machine. When I finished up my conversation I went in to replay a message by an ADA from the Family Violence and Sexual Assault Unit of the Philadelphia District Attorney's Office. She left no details but asked that I call her back at my earliest convenience. I can laugh about this now almost 9 years later but the first thought that popped in my head was "oh my god who do I know that needs my help?" (Really JoAnn it's you they're calling about!!!) I wrote down the information and made sure I put it aside to take to work with me Monday morning so I could call their office first thing.

I got to work Monday morning settled in at my desk and made the call that would change my life forever. The ADA asked if I knew a Jeffrey Marsalis, which I had to think about because it was a year and a half ago, it was just the one date and remember I decided I would forget about it so until that moment I hadn't thought about him in all that time. Once I confirmed the information she asked me how I knew him and I explained our one date and nothing else. She began to tell me why she was calling me, their investigation and how they came upon my name and personal details. As if a damn had burst the memories or lack thereof from that evening and weekend came back to me, the painful sickness I felt for two days after and the confusion I felt knowing I hadn't intended on or consented to having sex with him at all that night. The missing pieces to the puzzle from that night were all being put into place. I hadn't drank too much, was so violently ill and didn't consent to having sex because he drugged and raped me. Needless to say I forget where I was and lost control of my emotions. I couldn't stop crying. The ADA was kind, patient and understanding. She consoled me as best she could. She said she didn't want to upset me further and just had a couple more quick questions. (I would find out a few days later that the call to me was one of many made to Marsalis' victims as part of their investigation. She ended the call by asking if I would be willing to talk to an SVU detective from the Philadelphia Police Dept and give a statement because they were working together on the case. I said of course and was provided with the Units phone number and told anyone who answered would be able to help me.

After hanging up the phone the first thing I did was get to the ladies room quickly for some privacy as I didn't want to make a scene in my very large office and was still crying pretty heavily. My friend who sat in the cubicle across from me was on my heels and thankfully the bathroom was empty. I told her about the call, the date, everything. I had only been at the company for a year so we weren't friends when this originally happened. She did her best to console me enough that I could get back to my desk. It was barely 9:00am and I had an entire day of work ahead of me not to mention the call I had to make to SVU. They were expecting my call which made it easier once they picked up the phone and I told them who I was and why I was calling. They asked if I preferred a male or female detective, to me it didn't matter but this would be my first experience with the compassion they showed to me throughout the process. I scheduled my appointment for Thursday. It was 6 days before Christmas and already a hectic week. My next call was to my Dr for a blood test prescription to include all sexually transmitted diseases. I would do that on Friday which was supposed to be a day off for a long holiday weekend but the reality was setting in that my life would be changing. I gave myself a pep talk and mentally said I had to suck it up and get over it. Sticking my head in the sand wasn't an option for me. Meeting with the detective was going to be important and I wanted to have all the details I possibly could to provide them as part of the criminal case against my attacker. So for the next 3 days I would be doing a lot of thinking...