...I wanted to go over an important part of sexual assault recovery that I had become aware of only this year and until just recently began practicing myself. Although I received professional help on a regular basis from a trained rape counselor and am certain this was worked into my treatment I don't ever recall the term Self-Care being used by my counselor Laura from WOAR. Once I was accepted into the RAINN Speakers Bureau, thoroughly reviewed their website and documentation provided and connected with other rape crisis centers and organizations on Twitter did I see that phrase and study what it meant. I also began reading blogs by other victims/survivors of sexual assault who discussed the topic as part of their own recovery.
Good Self-Care is especially important for survivors of rape and sexual assault and part of the healing process and in my situation, as I discovered, still necessary over 10 years later. There are two central areas which are physical and emotional. Physical self-care includes Food, Exercise, Sleep and Medical Care and Emotional self-care is much more involved but can include Counseling, Journaling, Meditation and Relaxation Exercises and choosing the type of people you spend your time with and support they provide you. This is just an overview and I have provided a link below to the RAINN website which provides more details and information.
Although I was drugged and raped 10 1/2 years ago, received and completed counseling and sought justice through the courts I have written many times in my blog that I am still healing as I reach certain milestones and achieve certain accomplishments. In the past 5 1/2 years I have publicly given speeches and told my story to many groups. It's only this year that the frequency of those speeches has increased because I am now giving them on a full-time basis. I am also no longer living alone but now with my boyfriend and he began to point out my conduct before and after my speeches. My "freak outs" prior to leaving the house and my mood once I returned home were blatantly obvious to Steve as atypical behavior for me. I realized that before a speech I'm not particularly nervous and thought my anxiousness was because of a wardrobe issue. Then thinking back to all those previous speeches and my feelings of exhaustion hours afterward it was like a light bulb going on over my head. Every time I tell my story it takes a small emotional toll on me. I spent several years in which it was a part of my every day life and always at the front of my brain. That went away once the trials were over and the counseling concluded but I should have had the presence of mind to know this is a part of me and who I am and will always be there in some capacity.
Then I decided to continue to tell my story because it felt good to do so and I was in my own small way on track to help other victims. While doing that and telling my story I was bringing up painful memories and complicated emotions and not taking care of myself after which should have been common sense but clearly too obvious for me to see. What I thought was since I felt good during and immediately following a speech but once the adrenaline rush went away I was left with the painful memories. Now that I knew what was wrong I could fix it.
I am happy to say that the speech I gave 10 days ago went much differently. I prepared myself better prior to and took care of myself following the event. I thought it important to share this particular experience.Since victims and survivors are finding their way through the many stages of healing and as many of us (I wish it to be all) move on to have very healthy successful lives there will always be obstacles and challenges we need to meet head on and overcome. I'm living proof it can be done!
Practice whichever part of Self-Care works for you because no one knows what's best for us better than ourselves.
RAINN Self-Care for Survivors
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