FROM VICTIM TO SURVIVOR

To tell my story as a date rape survivor and communicate my message in a way that can help the most people.

Friday, October 3, 2014

Inside the Numbers Q&A

...I had tweeted a link the other day of a report on the Today Show pertaining the Good2Go app which takes a guy and girl through mutual consent questions. This prompted a conversation between myself and organizations regarding male rape victims and statistics. Several articles were provided to me which I promised to read and respond with my informed opinion. I consider myself to be not only logical but take great pride in the fact that I can look at all sides when discussing just about any topic. Which brings me to the campus rape and national sexual assault statistics. I very rarely quote statistics in my blogs, tweets or speeches and I appreciated being alerted to the articles and the results of a few studies. Below is my response that I decided I should share in my blog.

The articles discuss the fact that the 1 in 4 women on college campuses likelihood of being sexually assault is overstated when taking a deeper look into those numbers. Logically it's not possible. What I do know and I have written about this recently is that when I have shared my personal story of date rape others feel comfortable enough to share a personal story of sexual violence whether it be theirs or a friends or family members. Very few of those assaults were reported to law enforcement. I am taken aback each time because it reinforces how many victims are out there of which we are just not aware.

Another article reported on the growing campus rape movement in response to the 1 in 4 statistic. The way I look at it is what good comes out of it. There is more awareness and campuses taking responsibility for their students to make it easier for those victims of sexual violence to come forward and speak out. Education and evolving laws are also included in this. The more we open up dialogue regarding what constitutes a sexual assault the less doubt a victim has whether or not they've been assaulted and should come forward to report it.

I was also asked several questions and I would like to address them more completely than I could via Twitter.

SB967 Yes means Yes
I am in support of this Bill/Law. Men and women should all have the opportunity to consent. I feel very strongly about this because I was not afforded the option. I went on a date, was drugged and raped while completely unconscious. I will never be able to fully put into words what it's like to know I was violated without even a fighting chance or getting to say No.

Do I speak out for men falsely accused of rape?
When a woman falsely accuses a man of rape she does irreparable harm to all the legitimate rape and sexual assault victims. This creates doubt in the minds of those who are not believers, i.e. the victim blamers. Although I do not actively speak out for men falsely accused if and when I'm asked I will respond accordingly.

Do I speak out for male sexual assault victims?
Yes, I fully support the men who have been victims of rape and sexual assault as I believe they have a much more difficult road to travel as far as reporting and convictions. I do my best to advocate for them but currently it's not included in my speeches which is my story of  being drugged, date raped, through reporting, counseling and the legal process.

Finally, this morning I saw a video on the Today Show regarding a social experiment. Two males and one female decided to go out in public and record the reactions of bystanders while a man was physically abusing a female and then a female physically abusing a male. The public reacted very differently. When the woman was being assaulted men and women quickly stepped in to stop the attack but when the woman was abusing the man people were seen recording it with their phones and even stepping in to join the attack on the man too. I was very disturbed by the public's reaction to the latter. No one should ever be physically or sexually abused. It's not OK, Period! End of story! 

I speak out, advocate, tweet and/or blog every day because I believe we need to make the public aware that no one should ever be shamed by any form of sexual assault male or female. The victim didn't do anything wrong their attacker did.

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