Very Bad Men Interview

...I woke up the morning of the interview as prepared as I could be at this point. I ate a small breakfast and spent a lot of time on hair and makeup. I got a call that the crew hit a little traffic coming from Philly to my house in NJ so that gave me some time to pace around the house nervously. Once they arrived the whirlwind day began. It was a team of 4 including the director, cameraman, sound/audio tech and a production assistant. They were all extremely friendly and we all got along immediately. I gave them a quick tour of my one-bedroom condo and they unloaded all their equipment, so much so I couldn't believe that it actually fit into my living and dining room but it did. Blackout drapes were put up on the windows and patio doors, furniture was moved and cameras, lights and audio equipment was all set up. While all that was going on I was working with the director Mary on the details of the interview which she would be conducting. We reviewed the questions and any comments I had, talked about how she would take me through the questions and at what point we would break for lunch. Once the crew had everything set up it was time to get me seated, positioned for the camera, get the lighting and audio tested and trim any stray hairs sticking up (that was amusing) since the HD camera picks up everything. We were ready!

The interview would take me step by step through my story but also included questions pertaining to how I was feeling and what I was thinking at the time of certain milestones during the legal and court process. Sometimes we had to stop filming for outside noises, planes, sirens as I lived in a busy area. The interview was going very well and I was pretty comfortable answering the questions without hesitation and because I had given my speech so many times was able to keep my emotions in check until the very end. Throughout the interview, because it wasn't a scripted TV show, Mary would improvise questions occasionally as it was necessary with the answers I was providing. She put a question to me that had never been asked before but not as if it was something I hadn't thought about at one time or another. She asked me "Who is Jeffrey Marsalis?" As I answered it I became very emotional. I said "He is nobody. He created this fake life, fake career, fake everything. He sits in a jail cell with nothing to show for all his years on the planet except that he's a violent criminal who hurt so many women and doesn't think he did anything wrong. He is nothing. He is pathetic." I know why I got so upset and began crying. It's because at that moment I realized that a man who is a nobody that left no positive mark on society caused so much damage and pain to me, to the other women, to our family and friends. It hit me like a ton of bricks that someone like him could do so much harm.

As late morning turned into early afternoon and we progressed so well with the interview we all decided not to disrupt the flow but to alter our schedule and complete the interview before breaking for lunch. I felt good when I was done and happy with the answers I provided. We went to a local restaurant for lunch and had fun chatting about ourselves and not much business. They were all very nice people and compassionate given the subject matter their company produced. After lunch we resumed the days schedule including portraits and still shots of me inside and outside. It was a very typical autumn day in NJ, cloudy, cool, and a light breeze through the trees in my neighborhood which was perfect for filming. They recorded BROLL of me inside on the computer, looking out the window, looking away from the camera and outside of me walking down the street. This is all the footage you see that they cut to when watching an extended interview. Finally they had everything they needed, packed up their equipment, put my furniture and house back in order and left. The show was scheduled for a Spring air date TBD, so now I had to wait for the final product.

I sat down for a few minutes to take it all in and unwind. I couldn't believe how my condo looked like they had never been there. It was way past 7:00 and about a 9 hour day so I decided to take a shower and then eat but not before calling my mom to let her know how it all went. Admittedly giving the speech on Monday and then the interview Wednesday I was mentally and emotionally drained. I frequently give speeches and just as frequently forget what it takes out of me until after. You would think I have learned by now but I don't but what I do is acknowledge it when I do. I can't be too hard on myself otherwise what good would come from it. 

My one day break from the big move was over and the next morning I would have to wake up and continue the process...