FROM VICTIM TO SURVIVOR

To tell my story as a date rape survivor and communicate my message in a way that can help the most people.

Monday, September 8, 2014

More Good Bye's

...Week 2 in preparation for the big move begins with my speech to the Penn Victimology class except this one would be a little different. Dr. Brown also invited the former prosecutor who had spoken at the Psychiatry Seminar in January along with me. She liked how we complemented each other for several reasons one is he uses my case in his speeches because of its high profile nature and the alarming number of sexual assault victims for one rapist. In January we had naturally looked too each other during each of our speeches and the Q & A afterwards when we referred to each other to better answer certain questions. As was the order in January I would speak first then he would speak next but we could jump in during the Q & A for the students. 

When the professor introduced me she had some very flattering words to say about this being my last speech to her class as I was moving on with my life on another coast. I was able to expand on that a little during the speech and let the students know that there are good things waiting for you in life even after a severe trauma and life changing experience. As always I stayed after to chat with any students who wanted to privately and then the professor and I said our good bye's. We didn't know at the time that she would be inviting me back.

Although I was getting used to saying farewell to all those people who were important in my life it didn't get any easier. It seemed as if every day there was someone new I was catching up with then saying goodbye. I was emotionally exhausted from the all the details and plans I had to take care of on top of knowing I would not be seeing those important in my life or available to be part of the life events I had for so many years. I tried not to think of that though because otherwise I would not be able to function. It was one day at a time with me. The next day I made plans to meet my cousin in NYC for the day (she lives in Queens) so we could see the Jackson Pollack exhibit and have lunch. We are only a few weeks apart in age and have been as close as sisters since birth. When I lived on Staten Island our moms got together all the time and so did we. Once I moved to NJ we continued to stay close through High School, College, etc. Even if we didn't speak for a while when we did it was as if no time had passed. I would not leave the East Coast without seeing her.

I also spent time finalizing the details for the documentary interview at my house the next day. The production manager sent me their schedule and it was going to be a very full, very long day which was fine with me as long as I knew that going in. I had my outfit picked out, got a makeover and bought makeup that would look good on HD cameras and of course cleaned the house. In the midst of the moving madness it was actually good to have one day that would take my mind off of it all and focus on what was really important to me and my career future. I had lived in my condo for 19 years and a minimalist by nature so clutter wasn't an issue when it came to the packing part. Twice a year I would go through my clothes and shoes for donation. But there is nothing like picking through your life piece by piece and deciding what to take, what to give away, and general reminiscing every time I pulled something out. It becomes overwhelming. It would be a welcome distraction to have the production team at my house the next day and I was looking forward to it...

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