FROM VICTIM TO SURVIVOR

To tell my story as a date rape survivor and communicate my message in a way that can help the most people.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Speaking Out & Giving Back

...By August my life was beginning to get back to normal. The preparation and excitement surrounding the ABC News special and Idaho trial and sentencing were slowly fading into the background and it felt really good. It's all that I had wanted for nearly the past four years. I knew that there were two potential speaking opportunities available to me but I wanted to start working on my own to get others. On Friday August 21st I drafted a letter to Women's Studies Coordinator at Richard Stockton College in NJ which is where I graduated from 21 years earlier. I figured it was an easy transition for me since I was an alumni and could use that as part of my introduction to the subject and the offer of my speaking services. I wasn't ready to launch a full campaign so for right now the one letter would be enough and I would wait for the results.

In the meantime I had been continuing my counseling with Laura at WOAR and in that Fall she was going to give some very good news to me. I went in for my usual Thursday evening session and we began to chat. She shared with me how happy she was with all the progress I had made over the past few years and given the circumstances surrounding the completion of the trials and my beginning to speak out among other milestones she told me in her opinion there was no need for me to continue counseling and it would be our last session together. I was very happy and although unexpected, looking back at our past few sessions it was obvious. We spent that last hour together chatting and I also had to complete some exit paperwork. Then we said our good bye's and I left. It wouldn't be the last time I spoke with her or walked through the doors at WOAR but it would no longer be as a patient. I couldn't believe how far I had come since that awful week before Christmas 4 years earlier. I still had a long way to go but this was another step towards a mentally healthy future. I couldn't wait to call my mom and share the good news, a call I made on the drive home.

As the legal process and counseling were wrapping up for me I was beginning to feel as if I should somehow give back i.e. pay it forward for all the things done for me by complete strangers. Those were the people I had met/encountered while going through such an awful experience. Years earlier I had been a volunteer for an HIV testing facility as an evening receptionist and enjoyed it a lot. The appreciation showed to me by the staff for just a little bit of time was incredible. I wanted to go back to volunteering but what charity should I choose, there are so many. I first started looking at Big Brother/Big Sister and then my friend mentioned Make-A-Wish an organization she volunteered for a few years earlier. I took a look at their website and made my decision. This would be the perfect place to put my energy towards and in November I began the application process. More to come about Make-A-Wish in later blogs.

I didn't hear anything as a result of my email to Stockton College until about 6 months later and then things began to move very quickly. The women's studies coordinator emailed back apologizing for not replying as the email had slipped to the bottom of her inbox but she let me know she was forwarding my information. Less than a week later I received a call from the Asst. Director of Counseling Services at the colleges health center who was starting the Take Back the Night event again at the school. It was scheduled, as they usually are around the country, for Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM) in April. She invited me to be their speaker and I was thrilled. We had a lot of details to work out together and she said she would be getting back to me via email. I was thinking how cool it was that I would be returning to the college that I loved and speaking to the current students. Within the next month I would be contacted and another request would be made for my speaking services. Life really was good...

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