...The next several, unexpected things happened to me. It was a Thursday and I used to hand out the paycheck (direct deposit) stubs to the employees at work. I made my way around the office and then entered the shop and if people weren't busy we would stop and chat for a few seconds. I approached my friend Mike and he stopped me to quietly say he saw me on TV the night before and asked how I was doing. I was taken aback at first but responded with my being ok. He expressed his utter disgust for Marsalis and his crimes and verbalized his support for me. He did his best to not drag it out and made it sure there be as little awkwardness as possible. I thanked him, finished what I was doing and went back to my desk. I had to take a breath and realized that probably wouldn't be the first or last time I would be approached. My mom had told me later after I mentioned what happened that if you knew me, although disguised, you would recognize me. My brother called to tell me his best friend (who is like a 2nd brother to me) and his wife saw the show and were upset to hear what I had been going through and asked my brother about what happened. When I got home after finishing work and my workout at the gym there was a message on my answering machine from a friend I hadn't spoken to in a few years simply because we had both gotten busy with our lives. She said she was pretty sure it was me on TV last night and wanted to check to see if it was and how I was doing. I did call her back. We talked and subsequently reconnected as friends. One thing I have learned from this ordeal, nightmare, whatever you want to call it, there are many more good things that came out of something so bad. Those were the only people that approached me but it got me thinking there had to be many others that didn't feel comfortable doing so.
I did find out how my friend at work was able to handle our conversation so respectfully was that his sons girlfriend just so happened to be a counselor at a local rape crisis center. He called to tell her about seeing me in the interview and how to approach me. I want to say that even before this happened I always knew he was a very kind man but afterwards his status in my mind was elevated. It was also comforting for the 3 1/2 years that followed while I worked there I could share what I was doing as far as my speaking out about the subject. His younger son was a student at the same college I attended so when I began speaking on campus for Take Back the Night I would tell him about it. His older sons girlfriend later passed a message and her card through him and asked if I wanted to speak to their victims advocate training group. An invitation I accepted which would lead to another speaking engagement that I still continue to this day.
In Late July Laura emailed me saying she saw the Primetime Crime show and that it was really good. She also said she spoke with the Executive Director of WOAR who told her all the women did a great job. She also asked Laura if I would be interested in speaking and told her we had talked about it and would confirm first with me before forwarding my information to keep on file. This would actually be the spark that ignited my future in public speaking pertaining to the subject of my date rape, sexual assault awareness and advocacy.
I spoke with the associate producer on the show in August who told me the viewership was approximately 4 million. That to me was great news as it meant more peoplewere reached by my story and the crimes committed by Jeffrey Marsalis and could translate to either other victims coming forward to the police or at the very least begin the process of healing by telling someone. These are the two things that would drive me to begin my speaking and advocacy and the core of what my mission is based upon today. Except now it's not just the victims of Jeffrey Marsalis but any date rape or sexual assault victim. Telling someone is the first step towards healing. I have given many speeches and attended many speak outs where victims either stand up publicly or tell me privately what has happened to them and I can see on their faces that a weight begins to lift when it's said aloud!
The next step for me would be for me to figure out how and where to start speaking...
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