FROM VICTIM TO SURVIVOR

To tell my story as a date rape survivor and communicate my message in a way that can help the most people.

Monday, August 18, 2014

I Do Believe in Fate

…It’s late September and I was having a great year so far. I had put the trials and all the drama that comes with them behind me and moved on. The year 2011 was moving in the right direction. I was getting new and repeat speaking requests and getting busy with Make-A-Wish volunteering. I had a close supportive family and amazing friends so my social life was full enough. The only thing that was missing was someone to share it all with which had been painfully elusive to me so far but that was about to change.

One of my many responsibilities as “Admin” for the company I worked for was to plan any meeting or parties we may have. This was actually fun for me. I’m a planner by nature and a social butterfly. I usually meet with my bosses each year in the late Summer to begin discussing our company Christmas party. This is an event we never skip regardless of budget or company revenue and the past 3 I had planned were quite a success if I may say so myself but I don’t have to because everyone did that for me says the modest girl. We would get together and toss around ideas as to the formality of the party (it changed each year for variety sake) and they would toss out their ideas for the type of entertainment I needed to research. That particular year it would be a comedian. I immediately knew this wouldn’t be too difficult to get started on as I went to college with someone who was now a comic in LA, although he didn’t live in the area I could still contact him for his price and any local references he may have. All I had to do was get his number and email address which was easy because we had a connection. My best friend married a guy who has been friends with him since their late teens. I texted Renee who got the info from her husband and I sent off an email to Steve Cooper.

We started off with the usual catching up on life's details as it had been 20 years since we last saw each other at one of his shows and then got down to business. He sent me a link to one of his performances and his price and also information for a local guy he’s known for years. Within a week after submitting their quotes and one more for another comedian my bosses made the decision we would hire Steve’s friend. I let him know that we would be going with the other comic and he was happy to have been able to help. He then said it had been nice talking to someone he went to college with and talk football with as we are both huge Philadelphia Eagles fans and asked if we could continue to chat. I said of course. (He later admitted this was just a ruse because he was interested in me as more than just friends). He had been divorced for many years with no children and I hadn't been in a long term relationship, I'm embarrassed to say since my early twenties. I can't explain how time gets away from you but I was a workaholic in my late 20's to early 30's then I wasn't in a position emotionally to date during the legal, counseling and trial process and then the next thing you know you're 45. 

So we continued our correspondence which was the beginning of many emails then phone calls and text messages. We talked about college and who we still keep in touch with and what they are all doing. We texted pictures when out with friends and during the Eagles games. We had many long conversations on the phone as he really likes to talk. It’s a good thing I am a night owl because he was 3 hours behind in LA. Then one night on the phone in early December he said he wanted to fly me out for a visit knowing how much I despise the upcoming east coast Winter. I of course accepted since we were having a lot of fun so far and the day after Christmas we decided on a long weekend in late January that would work for my trip and booked the flights. I was really excited to see there this would go. It turned out to be the beginning of a long distance relationship that lasted almost 2 years and thousands of frequent flyer miles for both of us and my ultimately moving out to California in October 2013. More on the big move later. My life would never be the same again and all for the better. I would finally be completely happy...

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