...In late may I received a message from a mutual Twitter follower 'You Can Persevere'. They were publishing a book about people with perseverance stories and asked if I would want to share mine. I was extremely excited for the opportunity and flattered by the request so I responded with my acceptance and asked them for the details. They provided me with the number of words required, deadline date and who to submit the story. I had only written my story as part of a speech so I started with that document and began the editing process to fit the parameters they gave me. This was a chance for me to get my story to potentially a much broader audience than my speeches or even the podcast's had provided me. Not only that I had been thinking/planning to write a blog telling every detail of my life beginning from meeting my rapist on Match.com. Although I had some ideas and was making notes here and there when thoughts popped into my head I was apprehensive to get started because I had never blogged before and the only other writing I had done were business proposals called RFP's. Writing this story submission would be just what I needed to get my feet wet and kick my motivation into high gear. I had a fairly short deadline which was fine with me because I had done a lot more with much less time.
My speech has several versions each one slightly different and tailored to the audience, whether it be college students or advocates not to mention the cover page for my emails used when contacting universities, rape crisis centers and other organizations offering my speaking services. I sat down with all of these documents and pieced them together to create one plus included anything additional I felt it needed to get my story of perseverance across to the readers. I finished it in one day but set it aside and slept on it one night to review again the next day. To my detriment most times I am a thinker and when left with quiet time my mind races but since I began this mission of public speaking, advocacy and blogging I have learned to use it in a positive way. I woke up the next day and made a few adjustments before giving it a final read and then asked Steve to read it and provide his opinion and any comments. He is after all a comedian which makes him by default a writer and has been doing it for decades. I value his opinion and advice especially when it comes to this area of expertise. Once I received his seal of approval I attached it to my contacts email and hit send. It was a great feeling and I couldn't wait to see what would come of it in the final product of a book. As of yet there is no publication date in which I am anxiously waiting and just with the Primetime Crime and Very Bad Men interviews I look forward to see how it comes out.
This story submission was another big step for me. Starting a new business on my own is scary and I continually question if I am doing the right thing. Is my message reaching enough people? Will it really grow into what I hope it to be? I'm not afraid to say that without validation I don't know if it's worth it to continue and for how long. This particular story request would launch me into the next phase which is the blog and if that went well I had even bigger plans in the works...
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Monday, September 29, 2014
Podcasting
...In the month following the Very Bad Men premiere things started to pick up on the media side of JoAnnSpeaksOut. Some directly related to the tweets and Facebook messages my ever helpful boyfriend Steve sent out in promoting the show for me. He has worked on his podcast for almost 5 years and a lot of the other LA comics have their own podcasts that Steve was familiar with and a few he had on his show. He asked if being a guest on one would be something I would be interested in and I jumped at the potential opportunity so he started reaching out to them.
My first would be 'Paul Gilmartin's Mental Illness Happy Hour'. Paul's motto is "You Are Not Alone" and his weekly online podcast interviews with comedians, artists, friends and the occasional doctor all exploring mental illness, trauma, addiction and negative thinking. He was diagnosed with clinical depression and the podcast was born out of that. He gave me some information to prepare for the show and I arrived that day very nervous. Although I had told my story many times before it was in the traditional speaker setting and the interviews I conducted were for filming. The radio format was unfamiliar to me and I didn't know what to expect. Paul an experienced podcaster and excellent interviewer brought me through my story letting me speak the majority of the time but interjecting with questions that he knew would provide answers to what his listeners expected. The show lasted about an hour and a half and by the end I was really enjoying myself. Because I was being interviewed by a comedian there was just the right element of laughter to it. Afterward he said I did great so I was happy to have contributed well to his show. My interview has just been posted although a year later since he organizes guests in a particular order but with all the support I've received since originally recording it now has a far greater reach to my Followers & Friends.
Next I would be introduced to Rosie Tran and invited to speak on her 'Out of The Box' podcast. Rosie interviews a motley crew of her friends, colleagues and contemporaries in an interview and conversational style. She had me on to share my story as she also had a previous personal experience with sexual assault. In this interview we also discussed what my message is and moving forward after a date rape or sexual assault. Because we had this unfortunate experience in common we were able to have a more personal discussion during the interview. After this podcast aired I had received much support and my very first direct social media criticism from a "troller". I had written about this in a earlier post and as do these comments usually go they are written by someone who usually doesn't take the time to either listen to the entire interview or read the entire story before making their uneducated, uninformed, ignorant comments. So they are taken with a "consider the source" attitude.
Then I was invited by Jeannette Rizzi to be on her 'Blindsided' podcast. Jeannette opens her mike to experts in the field of suicide prevention, callers, as well as stories from her own personal journey. Although her podcast, one woman show and documentary center around the subject of suicide she tries to find the funny in the dark side of life. Also part of the show are Family Therapist Jeffrey Munn and Comedian Carlos Escobar and it's a light-hearted atmosphere. This one was different than the others because it airs live over the radio which brings another element to it. I also liked have several other people present and part of the show. Jeannette and the others asked me questions after telling my story and we also discussed rape jokes which have become more controversial of late so I weighed in on my opinion about how they shouldn't be told carelessly and just for the sake of throwing another joke into a comic's act. It was a fun hour that included a lot of laughter. Jeannette has since updated her format and invited me back a few months ago.
I am thankful and grateful to Paul, Rosie and Jeannette for all taking a chance on me as I was inexperienced in this particular medium although experienced in public speaking. With each podcast I was able to reach another audience in which I would not have had the opportunity to before. As I always say my goal is to speak out, get a conversation going and hopefully help a victim out there gain the strength to speak out themselves and get the help and support they need and deserve.
You can hear my podcast interviews on the media links tab of my website JoAnnSpeaksOut.com and I urge you to support and listen to Paul, Rosie and Jeannette's podcasts as they are doing very noble selfless work.
If you would like to listen to:
Paul Gilmartin's Mental Illness Happy Hour
Rosie Tran's Out of the Box Podcast
Jeannette Rizzi's Blindsided Podcast
My first would be 'Paul Gilmartin's Mental Illness Happy Hour'. Paul's motto is "You Are Not Alone" and his weekly online podcast interviews with comedians, artists, friends and the occasional doctor all exploring mental illness, trauma, addiction and negative thinking. He was diagnosed with clinical depression and the podcast was born out of that. He gave me some information to prepare for the show and I arrived that day very nervous. Although I had told my story many times before it was in the traditional speaker setting and the interviews I conducted were for filming. The radio format was unfamiliar to me and I didn't know what to expect. Paul an experienced podcaster and excellent interviewer brought me through my story letting me speak the majority of the time but interjecting with questions that he knew would provide answers to what his listeners expected. The show lasted about an hour and a half and by the end I was really enjoying myself. Because I was being interviewed by a comedian there was just the right element of laughter to it. Afterward he said I did great so I was happy to have contributed well to his show. My interview has just been posted although a year later since he organizes guests in a particular order but with all the support I've received since originally recording it now has a far greater reach to my Followers & Friends.
Next I would be introduced to Rosie Tran and invited to speak on her 'Out of The Box' podcast. Rosie interviews a motley crew of her friends, colleagues and contemporaries in an interview and conversational style. She had me on to share my story as she also had a previous personal experience with sexual assault. In this interview we also discussed what my message is and moving forward after a date rape or sexual assault. Because we had this unfortunate experience in common we were able to have a more personal discussion during the interview. After this podcast aired I had received much support and my very first direct social media criticism from a "troller". I had written about this in a earlier post and as do these comments usually go they are written by someone who usually doesn't take the time to either listen to the entire interview or read the entire story before making their uneducated, uninformed, ignorant comments. So they are taken with a "consider the source" attitude.
Then I was invited by Jeannette Rizzi to be on her 'Blindsided' podcast. Jeannette opens her mike to experts in the field of suicide prevention, callers, as well as stories from her own personal journey. Although her podcast, one woman show and documentary center around the subject of suicide she tries to find the funny in the dark side of life. Also part of the show are Family Therapist Jeffrey Munn and Comedian Carlos Escobar and it's a light-hearted atmosphere. This one was different than the others because it airs live over the radio which brings another element to it. I also liked have several other people present and part of the show. Jeannette and the others asked me questions after telling my story and we also discussed rape jokes which have become more controversial of late so I weighed in on my opinion about how they shouldn't be told carelessly and just for the sake of throwing another joke into a comic's act. It was a fun hour that included a lot of laughter. Jeannette has since updated her format and invited me back a few months ago.
I am thankful and grateful to Paul, Rosie and Jeannette for all taking a chance on me as I was inexperienced in this particular medium although experienced in public speaking. With each podcast I was able to reach another audience in which I would not have had the opportunity to before. As I always say my goal is to speak out, get a conversation going and hopefully help a victim out there gain the strength to speak out themselves and get the help and support they need and deserve.
You can hear my podcast interviews on the media links tab of my website JoAnnSpeaksOut.com and I urge you to support and listen to Paul, Rosie and Jeannette's podcasts as they are doing very noble selfless work.
If you would like to listen to:
Paul Gilmartin's Mental Illness Happy Hour
Rosie Tran's Out of the Box Podcast
Jeannette Rizzi's Blindsided Podcast
Friday, September 26, 2014
Very Bad Men Premiere
...I received the long awaited air date information from Make Believe Media for the documentary episode I filmed in October. It was scheduled for Tuesday May 6th at 9:00pm and it was titled 'Spin Doctor'. I liked it. The same eager, nervous, anticipation came over me as did when the original Primetime Crime episode aired. Both times I had put my trust into the media with my story and my interview which is saying a lot because we all know what can happen in the editing room but I was confident they would be respectful or I never would have participated in the first place.
First thing I did was start texting and emailing my family and friends the information. They were all interested in supporting me, seeing how I looked and sounded on TV not to mention in the show and how it turned out. I also wanted honest opinions from everyone since we are all our own worst critics. I felt they could be somewhat impartial. For the same reason I also decided to send the information to my former and current speaking contacts. I put an email together explaining my participation in the show and this particular episode and politely asked if they had a chance to watch I would appreciate feedback. This way I could get professional opinions.
Next I would promote the show on social media. The whole point of my agreeing to speak out in the media about my story is for as many people to view it as possible and to start or continue a conversation. This would include victims, survivors, family members or anyone else interested in being part of a change in the culture and how sexual assault is perceived in society. The day before the show I tweeted all the rape crisis/awareness organizations some of which I am involved with and used all the related hashtags I could think of. Steve was also very helpful (as usual) and because of his career in radio and comedy he has thousands of Twitter and Facebook followers and a much broader reach than I do currently. He immediately received dozens of messages of support for me and promises to watch the show. And as I have begun to learn when you share your story then someone will share theirs with you. Unfortunately he received a couple of these messages too.
On Tuesday we repeated the same social media promotion and then (because the channel aired East and West coast on cable) we sat down at 6:00pm to watch. The show was very well done, got the correct message across and I was surprised how much of my interview they put into the show which received the most air time. It's fascinating to me what parts of the hours long interview they use and all the interior and exterior B-roll. I was very happy with the final result. After it ended I got a lot of supportive calls and texts and messages even into the next day for those who had to record and watch it later. I emailed the production company to thank them for their work and professionalism. I believe that we don't give enough positive comments and they were deserved the praise. Everyone was supportive and had no criticism to offer me but honestly I would have liked to hear something in case I have the opportunity again.
For now I would put the television media behind me because I would have some radio opportunities coming up as my next challenge...
The Very Bad Men series airs on Investigation Discovery channel and you can view a clip from the episode 'Spin Doctor' on their website or possibly On Demand it varies with cable providers.
First thing I did was start texting and emailing my family and friends the information. They were all interested in supporting me, seeing how I looked and sounded on TV not to mention in the show and how it turned out. I also wanted honest opinions from everyone since we are all our own worst critics. I felt they could be somewhat impartial. For the same reason I also decided to send the information to my former and current speaking contacts. I put an email together explaining my participation in the show and this particular episode and politely asked if they had a chance to watch I would appreciate feedback. This way I could get professional opinions.
Next I would promote the show on social media. The whole point of my agreeing to speak out in the media about my story is for as many people to view it as possible and to start or continue a conversation. This would include victims, survivors, family members or anyone else interested in being part of a change in the culture and how sexual assault is perceived in society. The day before the show I tweeted all the rape crisis/awareness organizations some of which I am involved with and used all the related hashtags I could think of. Steve was also very helpful (as usual) and because of his career in radio and comedy he has thousands of Twitter and Facebook followers and a much broader reach than I do currently. He immediately received dozens of messages of support for me and promises to watch the show. And as I have begun to learn when you share your story then someone will share theirs with you. Unfortunately he received a couple of these messages too.
On Tuesday we repeated the same social media promotion and then (because the channel aired East and West coast on cable) we sat down at 6:00pm to watch. The show was very well done, got the correct message across and I was surprised how much of my interview they put into the show which received the most air time. It's fascinating to me what parts of the hours long interview they use and all the interior and exterior B-roll. I was very happy with the final result. After it ended I got a lot of supportive calls and texts and messages even into the next day for those who had to record and watch it later. I emailed the production company to thank them for their work and professionalism. I believe that we don't give enough positive comments and they were deserved the praise. Everyone was supportive and had no criticism to offer me but honestly I would have liked to hear something in case I have the opportunity again.
For now I would put the television media behind me because I would have some radio opportunities coming up as my next challenge...
The Very Bad Men series airs on Investigation Discovery channel and you can view a clip from the episode 'Spin Doctor' on their website or possibly On Demand it varies with cable providers.
Thursday, September 25, 2014
Getting Back to Business
...As much as I enjoyed Part 1 & 2 of my visit back home when I got back to LA (my new home now) there was a lot of work to do. I had my first meeting scheduled with the Director of Strength United only a few days later. It was then that I was asked to join their organization as a speaker and with short notice invited to attend and speak at an advocates meeting that Saturday. This would be a group of students who attend CSU Northridge and volunteer to either monitor the rape crisis hotline or to accompany victims when giving statements to the police and/or getting a rape kit examination. They had yet to have a survivor speak at one of their meetings and the director thought it would be a valuable step in their learning and experience process. It's also always a good thing for me to hear other stories of victims and survivors.
Next I had to add the missing pieces to my website which were the recording of my speech to the Penn students and a logo. For the time being I would post the raw video footage but I wanted to get it edited down at some point. The video was an important part of my website because it added validity to it and as I was reaching out and trying to make contacts they would have a sample of my work to reference. The logo was a bit more challenging for me even more so than designing my website. I was completely out of my element here and didn't know who to hire but I had received an email solicitation a few weeks earlier and then a follow up email from a graphic designer so I googled her and checked out the reviews and took a chance and hired her. This next part was fun because she had a questionnaire for me to fill out so I could narrow down what I wanted and didn't want. Within days I received 4 samples, picked the one I liked and asked her to adjust it a bit and settled on the one you see now. I was extremely happy with the results and surprised how easy it was.
April was right around the corner with a very busy month planned as it is Sexual Assault Awareness Month and I had several requests from colleges to speak at their Take Back The Night (TBTN) events. In the 2nd week of April I would attend the UCLA Clothesline Project speak out and two weeks later I would be the keynote speaker at the CSU Long Beach TBTN event. Just a few days prior I had a meeting with the CARE Director/Counselor for the UC Irvine. This meeting also went very well as she invited me to be a part of their speakers bureau. In just four months I had made a lot of progress and couldn't have been happier. When I started this adventure in January I had no idea what success I would have with it and how long it would take to achieve but by the end of April I had my answers.
My general outlook on life is positive, it was how I was raised but don't get me wrong I had setbacks and rejections. My first real one was a response to an RFP I submitted to be a keynote speaker for the NOVA National Organization for Victims Assistance yearly conference. I let it bring me down a bit for an afternoon but snapped out of it and moved on by the next day. I was later told by a experience professional in the field and one familiar with this conference that they receive many more times the requests than they have the limited speaking opportunities so I felt a little better about not being chosen. I didn't have time to wallow in self pity anyway because May and June would prove to be pivotal...
Next I had to add the missing pieces to my website which were the recording of my speech to the Penn students and a logo. For the time being I would post the raw video footage but I wanted to get it edited down at some point. The video was an important part of my website because it added validity to it and as I was reaching out and trying to make contacts they would have a sample of my work to reference. The logo was a bit more challenging for me even more so than designing my website. I was completely out of my element here and didn't know who to hire but I had received an email solicitation a few weeks earlier and then a follow up email from a graphic designer so I googled her and checked out the reviews and took a chance and hired her. This next part was fun because she had a questionnaire for me to fill out so I could narrow down what I wanted and didn't want. Within days I received 4 samples, picked the one I liked and asked her to adjust it a bit and settled on the one you see now. I was extremely happy with the results and surprised how easy it was.
April was right around the corner with a very busy month planned as it is Sexual Assault Awareness Month and I had several requests from colleges to speak at their Take Back The Night (TBTN) events. In the 2nd week of April I would attend the UCLA Clothesline Project speak out and two weeks later I would be the keynote speaker at the CSU Long Beach TBTN event. Just a few days prior I had a meeting with the CARE Director/Counselor for the UC Irvine. This meeting also went very well as she invited me to be a part of their speakers bureau. In just four months I had made a lot of progress and couldn't have been happier. When I started this adventure in January I had no idea what success I would have with it and how long it would take to achieve but by the end of April I had my answers.
My general outlook on life is positive, it was how I was raised but don't get me wrong I had setbacks and rejections. My first real one was a response to an RFP I submitted to be a keynote speaker for the NOVA National Organization for Victims Assistance yearly conference. I let it bring me down a bit for an afternoon but snapped out of it and moved on by the next day. I was later told by a experience professional in the field and one familiar with this conference that they receive many more times the requests than they have the limited speaking opportunities so I felt a little better about not being chosen. I didn't have time to wallow in self pity anyway because May and June would prove to be pivotal...
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Mixed Messages
...I read an article today where in Oklahoma three law enforcement officials were arrested for sexually assaulting women on the job. A captain for the OK Highway Patrol offered some very valuable advice on how women should protect themselves when getting pulled over but then he says "to follow the law in the first place so you don't get pulled over."
This is yet another example of the mixed messages sent out to women when it comes to reporting a sexual assault. We are urging victims to come forward and report the crime committed against them but when they do they are not always met with the support from law enforcement that I was lucky enough to receive. Every time I hear another story of a victim treated with disrespect it only drives me to work harder on my mission to speak out. Upon minutes of tweeting out this story I received a message back of woman who while waiting for her rape kit to be done was told "if you hang with dogs you get fleas." This was only the beginning to her day of horrors and mistreatment by law enforcement. I am also aware of victims who were told the statute of limitations ran out and subsequently not able to speak publicly of their attacker. These are just a sample of the many stories told to me by victims.
Currently there is a major campaign called End The Backlog where hundreds of thousands of rape kits just sitting in police and crime lab storage facilities are waiting to be tested. This means that the victims have bravely come forward to report a sexual assault, gone through what can be an uncomfortable and traumatic experience of the rape kit exam but the case then stalls because the DNA is never run through the local and national databases. Victims do not get justice and healing and this leaves the attacker free to rape again. I struggle with a similar circumstance in which if I had trusted my instincts that night and reported my date rape so many other women that met him after me would not have been raped by Jeffrey Marsalis.
All of the above add up to mixed messages sent to victims out there questioning whether they should report their sexual assault. We can't continue on this path. It needs to start with Law enforcement educating their police force properly. Why is it that some cities do such a good job of it and others not so much. They are there to assist victims and not offer personal opinions. We also need to continue this dialogue and call out those who are simply doing it wrong.
If you would like to read the article that inspired me I have attached a link below:
Huffington Post Article
If you would like to learn more about End The Backlog I have attached a link below:
End The Backlog
This is yet another example of the mixed messages sent out to women when it comes to reporting a sexual assault. We are urging victims to come forward and report the crime committed against them but when they do they are not always met with the support from law enforcement that I was lucky enough to receive. Every time I hear another story of a victim treated with disrespect it only drives me to work harder on my mission to speak out. Upon minutes of tweeting out this story I received a message back of woman who while waiting for her rape kit to be done was told "if you hang with dogs you get fleas." This was only the beginning to her day of horrors and mistreatment by law enforcement. I am also aware of victims who were told the statute of limitations ran out and subsequently not able to speak publicly of their attacker. These are just a sample of the many stories told to me by victims.
Currently there is a major campaign called End The Backlog where hundreds of thousands of rape kits just sitting in police and crime lab storage facilities are waiting to be tested. This means that the victims have bravely come forward to report a sexual assault, gone through what can be an uncomfortable and traumatic experience of the rape kit exam but the case then stalls because the DNA is never run through the local and national databases. Victims do not get justice and healing and this leaves the attacker free to rape again. I struggle with a similar circumstance in which if I had trusted my instincts that night and reported my date rape so many other women that met him after me would not have been raped by Jeffrey Marsalis.
All of the above add up to mixed messages sent to victims out there questioning whether they should report their sexual assault. We can't continue on this path. It needs to start with Law enforcement educating their police force properly. Why is it that some cities do such a good job of it and others not so much. They are there to assist victims and not offer personal opinions. We also need to continue this dialogue and call out those who are simply doing it wrong.
If you would like to read the article that inspired me I have attached a link below:
Huffington Post Article
If you would like to learn more about End The Backlog I have attached a link below:
End The Backlog
Monday, September 22, 2014
Homecoming
...My first visit home actually turned into a two-part event. I had originally booked a flight home for the 2nd weekend in March to celebrate my mom's 70th birthday, have dinner with all my friends, etc. then I was asked to speak at Penn 1 week earlier which turned out to be a very busy 4 days. I flew in Saturday afternoon just in time to attend a fundraiser my brother had planned for my nephew's crew team at a local micro-brewery (Flying Fish) which happens to be my most favorite. It was a great success and I got to see all of his friends who after so many years of hanging out at my brother's house became my friends too. Sunday I made plans with my best friend Renee to visit another friend who had surgery that rendered her immobile only months after having a beautiful baby girl. We brought Lunch and food that they could reheat later and spent the day catching up.
All weekend there was a snowstorm forecast to arrive Sunday into Monday which was the day of my speech. It had been an awful Winter back East with storm after storm and I wasn't going to be so lucky as to escape it by moving to LA. As it turned out the forecast continued to downgrade to about an inch and classes were not cancelled so the plans went on. My mom and I tested the recording equipment and off we went to Penn. The former unit chief prosecutor on my case was there and now after speaking together twice we collaborated on how to best present to the class. I went first with my mom in the front row and all the anxiety I had in the past that I built up in the end didn't result in my breaking down. I simply didn't look at her but at the class. Yet another challenge in my recovery and progress met with success. Chris Mallios went next then we sat down together at a table together and took questions. After class he offered me some very valuable advice regarding my speaking skills which I was extremely grateful for and used in future speeches. I look forward to seeing him again this Fall and thanking him personally.
I left on a flight Tuesday, the next day only to return the following Monday night. I would be visiting until Saturday this time and what I thought would be enough time to fit everything in didn't even come close. Mom gave me some visitors passes to her gym and we worked out together. No matter where I am even on vacation I always fit in a workout. I did get to have Brunch with Renee one day then Mom and I met her friend for Sushi the next night. I have known him since I was about 12 and we always have fun when we get together. Thursday was the big reunion with all my girls. I miss them a lot. Friendships that begin in adulthood are so different than the ones in youth. We have all been through so much together as a group and even though we keep in touch texting, facebook and by phone it doesn't replace getting together in person for parties, milestones, drinks and dinners.
The next night was my mother's big birthday dinner. She chose the restaurant, a new favorite of hers that recently opened up by one of the country's top chefs. We are a Foodie family and I was looking forward to eating from the creative menu. They would also custom design a birthday cake of your choosing so that was our surprise to her. My niece came home from college for the weekend and we were all together. It was really the only present she asked for and was very happy.
I woke up the next day and it was already time to go home. My flight was scheduled for the afternoon. I had been staying the week with my mom and stepdad so we relaxed around the house in the morning visiting until it was time to go to the airport and say good bye again. It doesn't get any easier no matter how many times you do it. I had only been gone 6 months so this whole thing was new to me. Getting off the plane for the first time to visit my hometown, not going to my condo as I had rented it and someone else was living there, not having my car or the gym I had worked out at for so many years were all so surreal to me. It felt a little off to me the entire time. I had to accept being a grown up, get used to it and go back to my life in LA. Great things were happening and I deserved to enjoy them...
All weekend there was a snowstorm forecast to arrive Sunday into Monday which was the day of my speech. It had been an awful Winter back East with storm after storm and I wasn't going to be so lucky as to escape it by moving to LA. As it turned out the forecast continued to downgrade to about an inch and classes were not cancelled so the plans went on. My mom and I tested the recording equipment and off we went to Penn. The former unit chief prosecutor on my case was there and now after speaking together twice we collaborated on how to best present to the class. I went first with my mom in the front row and all the anxiety I had in the past that I built up in the end didn't result in my breaking down. I simply didn't look at her but at the class. Yet another challenge in my recovery and progress met with success. Chris Mallios went next then we sat down together at a table together and took questions. After class he offered me some very valuable advice regarding my speaking skills which I was extremely grateful for and used in future speeches. I look forward to seeing him again this Fall and thanking him personally.
I left on a flight Tuesday, the next day only to return the following Monday night. I would be visiting until Saturday this time and what I thought would be enough time to fit everything in didn't even come close. Mom gave me some visitors passes to her gym and we worked out together. No matter where I am even on vacation I always fit in a workout. I did get to have Brunch with Renee one day then Mom and I met her friend for Sushi the next night. I have known him since I was about 12 and we always have fun when we get together. Thursday was the big reunion with all my girls. I miss them a lot. Friendships that begin in adulthood are so different than the ones in youth. We have all been through so much together as a group and even though we keep in touch texting, facebook and by phone it doesn't replace getting together in person for parties, milestones, drinks and dinners.
The next night was my mother's big birthday dinner. She chose the restaurant, a new favorite of hers that recently opened up by one of the country's top chefs. We are a Foodie family and I was looking forward to eating from the creative menu. They would also custom design a birthday cake of your choosing so that was our surprise to her. My niece came home from college for the weekend and we were all together. It was really the only present she asked for and was very happy.
I woke up the next day and it was already time to go home. My flight was scheduled for the afternoon. I had been staying the week with my mom and stepdad so we relaxed around the house in the morning visiting until it was time to go to the airport and say good bye again. It doesn't get any easier no matter how many times you do it. I had only been gone 6 months so this whole thing was new to me. Getting off the plane for the first time to visit my hometown, not going to my condo as I had rented it and someone else was living there, not having my car or the gym I had worked out at for so many years were all so surreal to me. It felt a little off to me the entire time. I had to accept being a grown up, get used to it and go back to my life in LA. Great things were happening and I deserved to enjoy them...
Friday, September 19, 2014
It's On Us
...On September 19, 2014 the White House is launched a new public awareness campaign to prevent sexual assault on college campuses. The message "It's On Us" aims to shift the way the public thinks about sexual assault. A PSA was released with compassionate celebrities helping to spread a message to not blame the victim or look the other way. They have partnered with RAINN to spread the message and mobilize men and women on college campuses and hopefully beyond with 5 ways to get involved. One of which is a pledge below and a message that I and many other victims, survivors, and sexual assault related organizations have been working to spread publicly for a very long time.
To RECOGNIZE that non-consensual sex is sexual assault.
To IDENTIFY situations in which sexual assault may occur.
To INTERVENE in situations where consent has not or cannot be given.
To CREATE and environment in which sexual assault is unacceptable.
My own personal campaign began nearly 9 years ago when I walked into the Philadelphia SVU building and sat down with a detective to tell my story of being drugged and raped. I did not know at the time that after the trials ended 3 1/2 years later I would continue my speak out campaign and advocacy work and that it would become my full-time mission. I knew the personal support I received from law enforcement, prosecutors, media, rape crisis centers and colleges I spoke to but until my daily involvement I didn't know of the large community of support from other survivors and organizations. I then realized how much the movement was growing exponentially and more recent support provided by the White House and Congress not to mention just getting people talking when they never would have before.
Awareness for phrases like victim blaming and engaged bystander spread far beyond just victims, survivors and the anti-sexual assault community but to where the public knows what they mean and can act if necessary. The explosion of social media has allowed us to be in a position to shame those who misbehave and I mean those who speak or act out in a vulgar, inappropriate, unacceptable manner. We all have to right to be safe whether from verbal or physical sexual assaults. 1 in 5 will be assaulted on college campuses and every two minutes another American is sexually assaulted, but because of the work completed sexual assault has fallen 50% in recent years and that's because awareness has increased. There is a lot of work still to be done but with campaigns like "It's On Us", "1 is 2 Many" and the continued awareness and advocacy I am confident we are on a continued path of success.
For more information on the "It's On Us" campaign, how to get involved or donate to support the Week of Action go to...
ItsOnUs.org
Week of Action
RAINN.org
To RECOGNIZE that non-consensual sex is sexual assault.
To IDENTIFY situations in which sexual assault may occur.
To INTERVENE in situations where consent has not or cannot be given.
To CREATE and environment in which sexual assault is unacceptable.
My own personal campaign began nearly 9 years ago when I walked into the Philadelphia SVU building and sat down with a detective to tell my story of being drugged and raped. I did not know at the time that after the trials ended 3 1/2 years later I would continue my speak out campaign and advocacy work and that it would become my full-time mission. I knew the personal support I received from law enforcement, prosecutors, media, rape crisis centers and colleges I spoke to but until my daily involvement I didn't know of the large community of support from other survivors and organizations. I then realized how much the movement was growing exponentially and more recent support provided by the White House and Congress not to mention just getting people talking when they never would have before.
Awareness for phrases like victim blaming and engaged bystander spread far beyond just victims, survivors and the anti-sexual assault community but to where the public knows what they mean and can act if necessary. The explosion of social media has allowed us to be in a position to shame those who misbehave and I mean those who speak or act out in a vulgar, inappropriate, unacceptable manner. We all have to right to be safe whether from verbal or physical sexual assaults. 1 in 5 will be assaulted on college campuses and every two minutes another American is sexually assaulted, but because of the work completed sexual assault has fallen 50% in recent years and that's because awareness has increased. There is a lot of work still to be done but with campaigns like "It's On Us", "1 is 2 Many" and the continued awareness and advocacy I am confident we are on a continued path of success.
For more information on the "It's On Us" campaign, how to get involved or donate to support the Week of Action go to...
ItsOnUs.org
Week of Action
RAINN.org
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