Sexual Assault Reporting & Repeat Offenders

I recently read an article in the NY Times regarding the difficulty rape victims (women & men) have in reporting their sexual assault especially on college campuses. Less than 10% of students report their assault to the college or police. There is a laundry list of why survivors don't report and one reason is that the reporting process for victims can be perceived as unfriendly. Most victims feel alone and fear the consequences of reporting their attack. What they don't know is 90% of sexual assaults are committed by repeat offenders and if we could stop college sexual assault offenders after their second attack we would prevent 60% of sexual assaults. 

Now there is a sexual assault reporting system being developed called Callisto that will provide a 3-part process for victims/students to participate. If the victim sees their attacker is a repeat offender and then chooses the third reporting option the first two steps become very valuable. See three steps outlined below:

1. Fill out an account of the incident online.

2. Securely save the report

3. Report now or later

As a survivor of a serial date rapist (although as an adult and not a college student) I am completely on board with this type of reporting system. My attacker committed multiple sexual assaults before and after he raped me. I have met and had long discussions with many of those women and they all wish they had known of the victims that came before them because then they would have had the courage to come forward and report their own assault. As a result they feel there may not have been the victims to follow them. These are feelings that I had to work through as part of my rape crisis counseling. It is not easily accepted or able to move past.

My assault included being drugged first and my attacker raped me while I was unconscious. I woke up the next morning naked in his bed, violently ill and confused. To add to the confusion my rapist was nice to me. I struggled to remember what happened the night before and couldn't make sense of it. Jeffrey Marsalis raped dozens of women in the same way and if there was a resource that I could have gone to validate what my instincts knew wasn't right about that night I would have reported my attack to the police immediately. Instead he went on to rape women for another year and a half before finally being arrested leading to two trials and convictions of sexual assault and rape. He will now spend the rest of his life in prison and never hurt another woman again but "only if"... Instead of focusing on the past the I can not control I chose to focus on the future and advocating for what I can control.

NY Times Article

Callisto - A College Sexual Assault Reporting System

Callisto is currently in its design and development phase.

UPDATE: I was contacted by a member of Callisto and as their first goal is to create a supporting and empowering experience for survivors and in order to do so they are trying to get as much feedback as possible during the design and development process.
They are looking for current college students or college survivors of any age that were assaulted in college. If interested please fill out the brief survey (link below) and you will be contacted shortly.

Callisto Research Participation Form

Mixed Messages 2.0

In September 2014 I wrote a blog titled "Mixed Messages" the subject of which three law enforcement officials in Oklahoma were sexually assaulting women on the job. At the time the captain of the Oklahoma Highway Patrol offered some valuable advice on how women should protect themselves when getting pulled over but then said "to follow the law in the first place so you don't get pulled over." At the time I read the article I was so outraged as to the mixed messages sexual assault victims receive sometimes that I wrote the blog and shared the article (link above). It has now happened again.

Today, through the UltraViolet organization I learned that the University of Oregon is using a rape survivor's private therapy records against her in a lawsuit. The university is using a loophole in a federal law that covers health services on college campuses. Simply stated most student health centers are subject to the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA) filled with loopholes that allows schools to access their records without their consent for non-medical reasons.

The mixed message here is that colleges are providing valuable health services to students and then using their medical records when it benefits the college. Mental health services for sexual assault victims is crucial as I can personally attest to and the University of Oregon campus health center offers these services. Most times it's the only option for cash strapped students. In this case the university was preparing a lawsuit against the survivor pertaining to her rape report but the university received pressure from students, faculty and the community so they dropped the suit but the damage was done. Trust has been lost as students were scared off from using the school's therapy center where the staff publicly called the administrations actions unethical. Survivors of rape and sexual assault need counseling to overcome their trauma and eventually lead them on a path to healing. If they think at any time anyone can access their records they will reject much needed therapy.

What is the point of offering medical and mental health services to students and encouraging them to use it only to turn it against them? We can't allow this precedent to continue to spread like a weed throughout colleges and universities across the country. UltraViolet has begun a campaign and drafted a petition that will be submitted to congress to close the FERPA loopholes.

To learn more, get involved and sign the petition follow the link below.

http://act.weareultraviolet.org/sign/FERPA_loophole/?referring_akid=1731.805355.xyHhHe&source=taf

Inside the Numbers Q&A

...I had tweeted a link the other day of a report on the Today Show pertaining the Good2Go app which takes a guy and girl through mutual consent questions. This prompted a conversation between myself and organizations regarding male rape victims and statistics. Several articles were provided to me which I promised to read and respond with my informed opinion. I consider myself to be not only logical but take great pride in the fact that I can look at all sides when discussing just about any topic. Which brings me to the campus rape and national sexual assault statistics. I very rarely quote statistics in my blogs, tweets or speeches and I appreciated being alerted to the articles and the results of a few studies. Below is my response that I decided I should share in my blog.

The articles discuss the fact that the 1 in 4 women on college campuses likelihood of being sexually assault is overstated when taking a deeper look into those numbers. Logically it's not possible. What I do know and I have written about this recently is that when I have shared my personal story of date rape others feel comfortable enough to share a personal story of sexual violence whether it be theirs or a friends or family members. Very few of those assaults were reported to law enforcement. I am taken aback each time because it reinforces how many victims are out there of which we are just not aware.

Another article reported on the growing campus rape movement in response to the 1 in 4 statistic. The way I look at it is what good comes out of it. There is more awareness and campuses taking responsibility for their students to make it easier for those victims of sexual violence to come forward and speak out. Education and evolving laws are also included in this. The more we open up dialogue regarding what constitutes a sexual assault the less doubt a victim has whether or not they've been assaulted and should come forward to report it.

I was also asked several questions and I would like to address them more completely than I could via Twitter.

SB967 Yes means Yes
I am in support of this Bill/Law. Men and women should all have the opportunity to consent. I feel very strongly about this because I was not afforded the option. I went on a date, was drugged and raped while completely unconscious. I will never be able to fully put into words what it's like to know I was violated without even a fighting chance or getting to say No.

Do I speak out for men falsely accused of rape?
When a woman falsely accuses a man of rape she does irreparable harm to all the legitimate rape and sexual assault victims. This creates doubt in the minds of those who are not believers, i.e. the victim blamers. Although I do not actively speak out for men falsely accused if and when I'm asked I will respond accordingly.

Do I speak out for male sexual assault victims?
Yes, I fully support the men who have been victims of rape and sexual assault as I believe they have a much more difficult road to travel as far as reporting and convictions. I do my best to advocate for them but currently it's not included in my speeches which is my story of  being drugged, date raped, through reporting, counseling and the legal process.

Finally, this morning I saw a video on the Today Show regarding a social experiment. Two males and one female decided to go out in public and record the reactions of bystanders while a man was physically abusing a female and then a female physically abusing a male. The public reacted very differently. When the woman was being assaulted men and women quickly stepped in to stop the attack but when the woman was abusing the man people were seen recording it with their phones and even stepping in to join the attack on the man too. I was very disturbed by the public's reaction to the latter. No one should ever be physically or sexually abused. It's not OK, Period! End of story! 

I speak out, advocate, tweet and/or blog every day because I believe we need to make the public aware that no one should ever be shamed by any form of sexual assault male or female. The victim didn't do anything wrong their attacker did.

It's On Us

...On September 19, 2014 the White House is launched a new public awareness campaign to prevent sexual assault on college campuses. The message "It's On Us" aims to shift the way the public thinks about sexual assault. A PSA was released with compassionate celebrities helping to spread a message to not blame the victim or look the other way. They have partnered with RAINN to spread the message and mobilize men and women on college campuses and hopefully beyond with 5 ways to get involved. One of which is a pledge below and a message that I and many other victims, survivors, and sexual assault related organizations have been working to spread publicly for a very long time.

To RECOGNIZE that non-consensual sex is sexual assault.
To IDENTIFY situations in which sexual assault may occur.
To INTERVENE in situations where consent has not or cannot be given.
To CREATE and environment in which sexual assault is unacceptable.

My own personal campaign began nearly 9 years ago when I walked into the Philadelphia SVU building and sat down with a detective to tell my story of being drugged and raped. I did not know at the time that after the trials ended 3 1/2 years later I would continue my speak out campaign and advocacy work and that it would become my full-time mission. I knew the personal support I received from law enforcement, prosecutors, media, rape crisis centers and colleges I spoke to but until my daily involvement I didn't know of the large community of support from other survivors and organizations. I then realized how much the movement was growing exponentially and more recent support provided by the White House and Congress not to mention just getting people talking when they never would have before. 

Awareness for phrases like victim blaming and engaged bystander spread far beyond just victims, survivors and the anti-sexual assault community but to where the public knows what they mean and can act if necessary. The explosion of social media has allowed us to be in a position to shame those who misbehave and I mean those who speak or act out in a vulgar, inappropriate, unacceptable manner. We all have to right to be safe whether from verbal or physical sexual assaults. 1 in 5 will be assaulted on college campuses and every two minutes another American is sexually assaulted, but because of the work completed sexual assault has fallen 50% in recent years and that's because awareness has increased. There is a lot of work still to be done but with campaigns like "It's On Us", "1 is 2 Many" and the continued awareness and advocacy I am confident we are on a continued path of success. 

For more information on the "It's On Us" campaign, how to get involved or donate to support the Week of Action go to...

ItsOnUs.org
Week of Action
RAINN.org

Being an Active Bystander

I recently read an article on iWillESV.tumblr that inspired this post. 

...It was a cold March night but I was really looking forward to what was planned. As my girlfriends and I got older we were seeing less and less of each other because life happens. We were in relationships, getting engaged, married and having babies so getting together was sometimes a logistical nightmare that would leave even the best party planner frazzled. But finally we had settled on a night to go out and celebrate my friend's birthday at a club in Philly called 32(degrees). We would dance and celebrate like old times. 

The night was off to a good start as everyone arrived at the bar, quickly started chatting each other up, toasting to my friends birthday and mingling with the people around us. Within an hour the club was packed and loud and we were all having a great time. That was about to change as I began to witness something that was increasingly upsetting to me. My friends and I were standing at the bar and in the open space between it and the bottle service tables. Near us was a large group of about 8, more guys than girls. One of the girls appeared to be very drunk but from my unfortunate experience it looked like more than just too much alcohol that was affecting her. She had a drink in her hand but was barely able to hold on to it as she was at almost a complete loss of control of her body. For several minutes I watched as she leaned against the wall that barely held her up. Then as she moved towards the group she was nearly on the floor all the while surrounded by her "friends". The other girls ignored her and I did not feel comfortable with how the guys were reacting to her. They allowed her to not only lean up against them but to fall all over them. They didn't try to help her in any way nor did they take the drink away from her. Who would treat a friend this way and why didn't they care?

I grabbed my friend Renee to tell her what I saw, asked her to watch and if in her opinion she thought something wasn't right about the who scenario either. She agreed with me so I then said we need to alert the club's security who was standing nearby. The first one I spoke to was not taking me seriously so I walked away and approached another. At this point I was near tears because I was still watching this girl acting in a manner that was beyond just the effects of too many drinks. My friend stood by me as I tried to keep calm and explain that they needed to intervene for her own safety. This took way too much persuading on my part before he finally agreed to check on her. 

My mind was racing as I was having flashbacks to what had happened to me. I was also thinking of the other victims of Jeffrey Marsalis, the assaults committed by him and if just one person had stepped in to speak up on their behalf how for some things would have ended up a lot differently. I'm not including myself as I know I was drugged in his apartment. I simply could not get a hold of my emotions and asked Renee if we could go home as we had come together. She didn't hesitate to say yes so we made up an excuse, said good-bye to our friends and left. I couldn't shake what happened that night for quite a while. It most definitely set my healing back a bit and I spent the next counseling session with Laura talking about it. 

At the time I didn't know anything about being an 'Active Bystander' or 'Bystander Awareness' but what I did know is that just a little common sense can go a long way to saving someone's life. Please read the article link above and share my post with your family and friends. If you see something that is setting off your instinct alarms then speak up, say something or tell someone. You will only regret not doing so! 

As part of RAINN's ItsOnUs awareness campaign to prevent campus sexual assault I have included their Four Ways to Keep Friends Safe provided here.

→ Distract. If you see a friend in a situation that doesn’t feel quite right, create a distraction to get your friend to safety.

→ Step in. If you see someone who looks uncomfortable or is at risk, step in. If you feel safe, find a way to de-escalate the situation and separate all parties involved.

→ Enlist others. You don’t have to go it alone. Call on friends or other people in the area as reinforcements to help defuse a dangerous situation and get the at-risk person home safely.

→ Keep an eye out. Simply being aware of your surroundings can have a big impact on someone’s life. If you see someone who has had too much to drink or could be vulnerable, try to get them to a safe place.