I have been following the news reports quite closely from the moment I heard 2 prisoners escaped from the Clinton Correctional Facility a NY State maximum security prison. This story is very personal to me as a victim of a violent sexual predator who currently serves a 21 year sentence in a Pennsylvania maximum security prison and then will be transferred to an Idaho maximum security prison to serve a Life sentence. In the time period leading up to my attacker's, Jeffrey Marsalis, trial and during my counseling I shared my fear that he would escape, somehow find and harm me for testifying against him. Although seemingly irrational and I've spent a lot of time working through it, there was and (now proven) is a very small chance it could happen.
The two convicted felons (Richard Matt & David Sweat) now on the loose were heinous, vicious murderers and I can imagine what the victims are thinking and feeling until they are finally caught and returned to prison. As the details unfolded and continue to do so every day I think about them because I know from personal experience the fears I had that they are now living out in real time. If I could I would speak to them or meet with them face to face to show my support and share that I want to be there however they may need me.
As if it wasn't bad enough that these violent men were now free it was then reported that a prison employee took it upon herself to not just decide that a judge and jury conviction was incorrect but to help the two escape. I don't care that she may have been charmed by one or both of them or whatever else her attorney may explain away her behavior but she went to the next level by assisting them. Since her arrest I watch the footage of Joyce Mitchell online or on television and get extremely angry. My disgusted reaction is a result of my knowledge and experience of what it takes to put a criminal behind bars no matter what the crime and how high the stakes and the personal investment made not just from the victims and their families but from law enforcement and the prosecutors office. Every step throughout the legal process is, as I see it, another hurdle to get over in order to get justice as a victim. The stress and anxiety experienced can only be described as all consuming until the verdict comes in from the Jury and they say the magic word "GUILTY". But even then there is still one more hurdle to overcome and that's the sentencing by the judge. Will it be what the accused and now convicted deserves?
So the trial and sentencing are over and the convicted are "safely" away in prison only does the real healing begin for the victims and families. But not in this case! If this was happening to me I would show up in court every day that Joyce Mitchell appears and write as many letters as humanly possible to the judge and prosecutors office asking that no mercy and the harshest penalties be imposed on her for undoing what a jury and judge had done. Since it, thankfully, not happening to me what I can do is share my experience and publicly show my support for the families of the victims who crossed paths with those awful men.
Friday, June 19, 2015
Monday, June 1, 2015
It's Not OK
The past few weeks have been happily busy for me as I work and volunteer and throw in a few social activities here and there. I've had the opportunity to meet some amazing new people some of which have become my friends. Since moving out to LA new friendships have been slow in coming but I knew if I was patient those important connections would cultivate. My recent part-time job has allowed me to be exposed to some very interesting people all with their own unique story to tell. Each also accepting and supportive of my own story. It's inspiring! Recently, as a large group of us sat around chatting, discussions of a previous work environment involving a very uncomfortable experience some women had were brought up. I listened to what several had to say and filed it away in my mind. We were separated for the remainder of our work day and the subject wasn't revisited.
I got home late that night but when I woke up the next morning I started to think more about what was shared with me by those women the night before. I became angry about what they had to experience and decided when I saw them that evening I would bring up what I do as a public speaker and advocate of sexual assault awareness and offer my support. My instincts told me that these women were strong and outspoken and most likely receptive to what I had in mind. I approached one of the girls shared my idea and she couldn't have said Yes to me fast enough telling me she had already considered taking action. She provided me her information along with a friend of hers also and I told her I would get working on some ideas how we could move forward to report the offensive behavior.
Although I can't discuss in detail just yet what happened because it's not my story to tell I can say that a man hired as an entertainer frequently used vulgar, offensive language, stories and jokes in his routine. The women were working while this was going on. He is clearly only moderately talented because there are plenty of entertainers out there who do not lower their standards to such a level in order to get reactions from an audience. We all have varying standards of tolerance when it comes to things that may be considered off color and even one woman's disapproval should not be ignored but this was more than enough women to organize a group and lodge a complaint. Especially when one woman has heard the dialogue repeated from this "entertainer" before. We have power in numbers.
The point I'm trying to get across is that women should never be hesitant or afraid to speak up because there may be others who are thinking the same thing. The only way we can stop this type of bad behavior is to call out the offender to someone in authority and make them aware that It's Not OK!
I got home late that night but when I woke up the next morning I started to think more about what was shared with me by those women the night before. I became angry about what they had to experience and decided when I saw them that evening I would bring up what I do as a public speaker and advocate of sexual assault awareness and offer my support. My instincts told me that these women were strong and outspoken and most likely receptive to what I had in mind. I approached one of the girls shared my idea and she couldn't have said Yes to me fast enough telling me she had already considered taking action. She provided me her information along with a friend of hers also and I told her I would get working on some ideas how we could move forward to report the offensive behavior.
Although I can't discuss in detail just yet what happened because it's not my story to tell I can say that a man hired as an entertainer frequently used vulgar, offensive language, stories and jokes in his routine. The women were working while this was going on. He is clearly only moderately talented because there are plenty of entertainers out there who do not lower their standards to such a level in order to get reactions from an audience. We all have varying standards of tolerance when it comes to things that may be considered off color and even one woman's disapproval should not be ignored but this was more than enough women to organize a group and lodge a complaint. Especially when one woman has heard the dialogue repeated from this "entertainer" before. We have power in numbers.
The point I'm trying to get across is that women should never be hesitant or afraid to speak up because there may be others who are thinking the same thing. The only way we can stop this type of bad behavior is to call out the offender to someone in authority and make them aware that It's Not OK!
Monday, May 18, 2015
LaceUp4 RAINN
This originally appeared as a Guest Blog for The UnSlut Project. Please check out their website & "work to undo the dangerous sexual bullying and 'slut' shaming in schools, community, media and culture".
On Saturday May 9th I participated in the 2nd Annual Lace Up for RAINN 5K. I was really looking forward to the event again this year since it had such a positive affect on my life and career as speaker and advocate for sexual assault awareness. Originally I found out about the event as a proud member of the RAINN Speakers Bureau.
The event is set up as a virtual 5K so you can join in with your team or as an individual from wherever you live at whatever time of that day is convenient and for someone like me who would be walking by myself it's perfect. The goal is "to raise awareness in a fun, approachable way and to connect with others who are passionate about the cause". Last year the event did just that for me. At the time JoAnnSpeaksOut only had a website and Twitter account so once I completed the 5K I posted my picture and comments on Twitter with all the hashtags and as a result I connected with an amazing girl (also a sexual assault survivor) from Michigan. We became fast friends over social media having many things in common and in part because of her I was inspired to start my blog which is now going strong almost a year later.
Within the past few months I have expanded my social media presence for JoAnnSpeaksOut onto Facebook and Instagram and knew I would be able to spread the message of Lace Up for RAINN much further. I even had the confidence this year to create a fundraising page with a template provided by the event organizers. I set a modest goal and with the help of my always supportive boyfriend who assisted me in spreading the message I reached that goal. Because of all those generous donations 10 victims of sexual abuse will receive the help they so desperately need and deserve.
The numbers came in for the 2015 Lace Up! RAINN reported 210 participants nationwide with 651 miles run in communities across the country to raise awareness. Most importantly $20,879 was raised to support more than 2,000 survivors of sexual assault.
My fundraising page will continue to be active through the end of May. If you are interested in helping to make an impact on the lives of many survivors please consider a donation.
JoAnnSpeaksOut Fundraising Page
Maybe next year I will go the next step and organize a team but for now here is my picture as an individual participant.
On Saturday May 9th I participated in the 2nd Annual Lace Up for RAINN 5K. I was really looking forward to the event again this year since it had such a positive affect on my life and career as speaker and advocate for sexual assault awareness. Originally I found out about the event as a proud member of the RAINN Speakers Bureau.
The event is set up as a virtual 5K so you can join in with your team or as an individual from wherever you live at whatever time of that day is convenient and for someone like me who would be walking by myself it's perfect. The goal is "to raise awareness in a fun, approachable way and to connect with others who are passionate about the cause". Last year the event did just that for me. At the time JoAnnSpeaksOut only had a website and Twitter account so once I completed the 5K I posted my picture and comments on Twitter with all the hashtags and as a result I connected with an amazing girl (also a sexual assault survivor) from Michigan. We became fast friends over social media having many things in common and in part because of her I was inspired to start my blog which is now going strong almost a year later.
Within the past few months I have expanded my social media presence for JoAnnSpeaksOut onto Facebook and Instagram and knew I would be able to spread the message of Lace Up for RAINN much further. I even had the confidence this year to create a fundraising page with a template provided by the event organizers. I set a modest goal and with the help of my always supportive boyfriend who assisted me in spreading the message I reached that goal. Because of all those generous donations 10 victims of sexual abuse will receive the help they so desperately need and deserve.
The numbers came in for the 2015 Lace Up! RAINN reported 210 participants nationwide with 651 miles run in communities across the country to raise awareness. Most importantly $20,879 was raised to support more than 2,000 survivors of sexual assault.
My fundraising page will continue to be active through the end of May. If you are interested in helping to make an impact on the lives of many survivors please consider a donation.
JoAnnSpeaksOut Fundraising Page
Maybe next year I will go the next step and organize a team but for now here is my picture as an individual participant.
Monday, May 11, 2015
SAAM 2015 Recap
I am excited to share that with a very full April calendar Sexual Assault Awareness Month 2015 (SAAM) was a great success. I attended many events, delivered several speeches and as the month progressed the availability on my calendar decreased. Interviews were conducted, articles and podcasts were posted, press releases were sent out and local TV news reported on my work as a speaker and advocate. It can best be described as a flurry of activity for 30 continuous days and at the end I was left with a overwhelming feeling of hope for the future of date rape and sexual assault awareness and prevention.
The month began by my meeting up with a date rape survivor just like me except in addition to counseling she found healing through yoga. Justine then used her writing talents to create a screenplay and develop a movie project called 2000vinyasas, a story similar to her own. You can learn more in my post 2000 Vinyasas - The Movie.
The next day I was interviewed by an impressive young woman Jessica from GirlsSpeak. She was writing a series of articles for SAAM to be posted on her website blog. As a result of the interview I was quoted in two articles posted within as many weeks the 1st about Sexual Assault Myths the 2nd about Helping Survivors.
The following week my podcast interview, recorded in March, with the awesome ladies of the Vagina Chronicles was posted. We were connected initially from my work as project adviser on the Tell The World music video being developed by Rob Hustle hip hop artist and activist. This project, currently in production, allows sexual assault survivors to speak out. Angela & Nicolle contacted Rob to say they would like to promote the project by interviewing any of the project advisers available. They generously allowed me to take up most of the podcast telling my story and then provide information for Tell The World. You can listen via this link Vagina Chronicles.
In the 3rd week of April I had the pleasure to attend an Evening of Innovation at USC Annenberg Innovation Lab. Through my work as a RAINN Speaker's Bureau member I completed an interview questionnaire for Prevail Games developing Bridge to Solas a mobile role-play designed to help survivors on their path to healing. Alexx Murphy and her intelligent, talented team of women went up against 5 other student teams in the 2015 CRUNCH Student Design Challenge + Incubator for a $10,000 prize for startup funding. Although the ladies did not win the ultimate prize they took home the People's Choice Award. A huge accomplishment in its own right.
Week 4 & 5 of SAAM brought about my scheduled speaking engagements. As a result of my E! True Hollywood Story interview in February I was contacted by a former Philadelphia DA intern who worked on my case 10 years ago asking if I would speak at their annual National Crime Victims Rights Week ceremony. It was a beautiful event honoring families of murder victims, reported on by the Merced CA newspaper and ABC30 Fresno in which both highlighted my speech and message to sexual assault victims.
Norco College invited me to speak at their very first Take Back the Night. I was impressed by how well organized it was and the number of students that came out to participate. I presented my entire story of being sexually assaulted by a serial date rapist, the legal and court process, counseling, healing and finally moving forward with my life. There were beautiful student singers, poems read and a quilt with squares made by attendees including myself.
Finally, even though it was the 2nd Annual Denim Day Rally & Press Event it was my first time attending. Peace Over Violence, an organization dedicated to ending sexual violence of any kind in LA since 1971, joined forces with Guess? Foundation to promote Denim Day LA & USA and beyond. There were guest speakers such as the Mayor, Police Chief and District Attorney of Los Angeles along with performances by Aloe Blacc and Maya Jupiter. I befriended a young masters degree student in social work and intern at POV. It was motivating and a lot of fun and you can read more about the message and how to get involved here Denim Day 2015.
SAAM was first observed in April 2001 growing out of Sexual Assault Awareness Week from the 1980's. In 2009 President Barack Obama was the first president to proclaim April Sexual Assault Awareness Month and it's been growing stronger ever since then. I was significantly more involved than last year and I hope next year will be that way for many other advocates and activists alike.
The month began by my meeting up with a date rape survivor just like me except in addition to counseling she found healing through yoga. Justine then used her writing talents to create a screenplay and develop a movie project called 2000vinyasas, a story similar to her own. You can learn more in my post 2000 Vinyasas - The Movie.
The next day I was interviewed by an impressive young woman Jessica from GirlsSpeak. She was writing a series of articles for SAAM to be posted on her website blog. As a result of the interview I was quoted in two articles posted within as many weeks the 1st about Sexual Assault Myths the 2nd about Helping Survivors.
The following week my podcast interview, recorded in March, with the awesome ladies of the Vagina Chronicles was posted. We were connected initially from my work as project adviser on the Tell The World music video being developed by Rob Hustle hip hop artist and activist. This project, currently in production, allows sexual assault survivors to speak out. Angela & Nicolle contacted Rob to say they would like to promote the project by interviewing any of the project advisers available. They generously allowed me to take up most of the podcast telling my story and then provide information for Tell The World. You can listen via this link Vagina Chronicles.
In the 3rd week of April I had the pleasure to attend an Evening of Innovation at USC Annenberg Innovation Lab. Through my work as a RAINN Speaker's Bureau member I completed an interview questionnaire for Prevail Games developing Bridge to Solas a mobile role-play designed to help survivors on their path to healing. Alexx Murphy and her intelligent, talented team of women went up against 5 other student teams in the 2015 CRUNCH Student Design Challenge + Incubator for a $10,000 prize for startup funding. Although the ladies did not win the ultimate prize they took home the People's Choice Award. A huge accomplishment in its own right.
Week 4 & 5 of SAAM brought about my scheduled speaking engagements. As a result of my E! True Hollywood Story interview in February I was contacted by a former Philadelphia DA intern who worked on my case 10 years ago asking if I would speak at their annual National Crime Victims Rights Week ceremony. It was a beautiful event honoring families of murder victims, reported on by the Merced CA newspaper and ABC30 Fresno in which both highlighted my speech and message to sexual assault victims.
Norco College invited me to speak at their very first Take Back the Night. I was impressed by how well organized it was and the number of students that came out to participate. I presented my entire story of being sexually assaulted by a serial date rapist, the legal and court process, counseling, healing and finally moving forward with my life. There were beautiful student singers, poems read and a quilt with squares made by attendees including myself.
Finally, even though it was the 2nd Annual Denim Day Rally & Press Event it was my first time attending. Peace Over Violence, an organization dedicated to ending sexual violence of any kind in LA since 1971, joined forces with Guess? Foundation to promote Denim Day LA & USA and beyond. There were guest speakers such as the Mayor, Police Chief and District Attorney of Los Angeles along with performances by Aloe Blacc and Maya Jupiter. I befriended a young masters degree student in social work and intern at POV. It was motivating and a lot of fun and you can read more about the message and how to get involved here Denim Day 2015.
SAAM was first observed in April 2001 growing out of Sexual Assault Awareness Week from the 1980's. In 2009 President Barack Obama was the first president to proclaim April Sexual Assault Awareness Month and it's been growing stronger ever since then. I was significantly more involved than last year and I hope next year will be that way for many other advocates and activists alike.
Thursday, May 7, 2015
Sexual Assault Reporting & Repeat Offenders
I recently read an article in the NY Times regarding the difficulty rape victims (women & men) have in reporting their sexual assault especially on college campuses. Less than 10% of students report their assault to the college or police. There is a laundry list of why survivors don't report and one reason is that the reporting process for victims can be perceived as unfriendly. Most victims feel alone and fear the consequences of reporting their attack. What they don't know is 90% of sexual assaults are committed by repeat offenders and if we could stop college sexual assault offenders after their second attack we would prevent 60% of sexual assaults.
Now there is a sexual assault reporting system being developed called Callisto that will provide a 3-part process for victims/students to participate. If the victim sees their attacker is a repeat offender and then chooses the third reporting option the first two steps become very valuable. See three steps outlined below:
1. Fill out an account of the incident online.
2. Securely save the report
3. Report now or later
As a survivor of a serial date rapist (although as an adult and not a college student) I am completely on board with this type of reporting system. My attacker committed multiple sexual assaults before and after he raped me. I have met and had long discussions with many of those women and they all wish they had known of the victims that came before them because then they would have had the courage to come forward and report their own assault. As a result they feel there may not have been the victims to follow them. These are feelings that I had to work through as part of my rape crisis counseling. It is not easily accepted or able to move past.
My assault included being drugged first and my attacker raped me while I was unconscious. I woke up the next morning naked in his bed, violently ill and confused. To add to the confusion my rapist was nice to me. I struggled to remember what happened the night before and couldn't make sense of it. Jeffrey Marsalis raped dozens of women in the same way and if there was a resource that I could have gone to validate what my instincts knew wasn't right about that night I would have reported my attack to the police immediately. Instead he went on to rape women for another year and a half before finally being arrested leading to two trials and convictions of sexual assault and rape. He will now spend the rest of his life in prison and never hurt another woman again but "only if"... Instead of focusing on the past the I can not control I chose to focus on the future and advocating for what I can control.
Callisto is currently in its design and development phase.
UPDATE: I was contacted by a member of Callisto and as their first goal is to create a supporting and empowering experience for survivors and in order to do so they are trying to get as much feedback as possible during the design and development process.
They are looking for current college students or college survivors of any age that were assaulted in college. If interested please fill out the brief survey (link below) and you will be contacted shortly.
Callisto Research Participation Form
UPDATE: I was contacted by a member of Callisto and as their first goal is to create a supporting and empowering experience for survivors and in order to do so they are trying to get as much feedback as possible during the design and development process.
They are looking for current college students or college survivors of any age that were assaulted in college. If interested please fill out the brief survey (link below) and you will be contacted shortly.
Callisto Research Participation Form
Friday, May 1, 2015
Denim Day 2015
On April 29, 2015 I attended the 2nd annual Denim Day Rally and Press Event. Although invited last year my mom was in town for a visit so I was unable to go. This was the 16th anniversary of Peace Over Violence's Denim Day and the second year since they partnered with fashion sponsor Guess? Foundation.
The message of Denim Day is There is No Excuse and Never an Invitation to Rape. Its origin began in 1998 when Italian women lawmakers wore jeans to Parliament to protest the highest court of appeals ruling that a victim could not have been raped if she was wearing tight jeans because she would have had to cooperate in taking them off.
Peace Over Violence Executive Director Patti Giggans organized the first Denim Day event in 1999 and in 2011 it grew into a national movement. It's mission is to 'Wear jeans with a purpose, support survivors and educate yourself and other about sexual assault.' Peace over Violence is a sexual and domestic violence, stalking, child abuse and youth violence prevention center in Los Angeles.
National Denim Day began as a part of April's Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Although it's just one day the theme this year during the rally and encouraged by Patti Giggans and Guess? Chairman Maurice Marciano was to continue spreading the message throughout the year. Guess? and its Guess? Foundation has become a very active partner kicking off a fundraiser on April 20th and donating $2 for every pair of Jeans and select accessories sold in their stores to Peace Over Violence which is a nonprofit organization with a total reaching over $150,000.
Also in attendance were Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti who gave an inspirational speech and Los Angeles Police Chief Charlie Beck who shared his decades long commitment to sexual violence victims as part of his law enforcement career. Los Angeles County District Attorney Jackie Lacey told us the work her office is doing to prosecute sexual predators and Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors Mark Ridley-Thomas gave an uplifting, motivational speech to all in attendance that day.
Finally, we were treated to musical performances by spokespersons and recording artists Aloe Blacc and Maya Jupiter. Maya Jupiter wrote and performed a very special song 'Never Said Yes' inspired by the film The Hunting Ground which exposes the epidemic of sexual assault on college campuses. The song download is available for free through May 8th.
I met so many great people that day who all have the same goal as I do which is to spread sexual assault awareness worldwide and end sexual violence for once and for all. To learn more about Peace Over Violence, Denim Day or download Maya Jupiter's song I have provided links below.
Thursday, April 23, 2015
Still Speaking Out 6 Years Later
As I was preparing for my trip to Central California this week and a speech at the National Crime Victims Rights Week ceremony in Merced it was not lost on me that 6 years ago almost to the day I gave my first speech.
While I was receiving counseling at WOAR (Women Organized Against Rape) the Director, Carole Johnson, had been monitoring my progress with my counselor Laura. They had decided I was in a good place where I could tell my story at their annual Take It All Back event on April 25, 2009. At the request and with just the right amount of encouragement from Laura she presented the idea to me of including me in the "Survivor Speaker" part of the day. I wasn't all that uncomfortable with public speaking, although this would be something so much different, but I had trusted her thus far (over a combined year of therapy sessions) and agreed to speak. Laura said we could work on the speech together and assured me that while I presented it she would be right by my side.
I went home and worked on my 'assignment' for the next two weeks so I would be ready to show Laura what I had written and we could review and discuss it at our next meeting. Since I had never been to a Take Back The Night event I was unfamiliar with the format. She told me that the survivors tell their story in a way that was most comfortable for them. It just so happened that my story had a beginning, middle and almost an end I decided to tell it in that order. My story was also unique for survivors of sexual assault because I had been through each phase starting with my report to law enforcement, rape crisis counseling and the trial process from preliminary hearing, closing arguments to sentencing. Not only that but the added stress but it was also a high profile case with endless print and television media coverage and my recent participation in an ABC News interview they were completing for a Summer air date.
Two days before the event I met with Laura, she read the speech, which she liked and we talked about what I might expect as I presented it. The very same week Jeffrey Marsalis' Idaho Rape trial was going on and I was following along as best I could from NJ with all my help from the online reports by the local news media there. The next day, Friday, the jury had gotten the case and that evening after my workout I received the message from Philadelphia prosecutor Joe Khan that Marsalis had been convicted of Rape and sentencing was scheduled for a few months later. These were the words I had been waiting years to hear and as I drove home that evening I spoke with Joe who told me the jury deliberated only a few hours and came back with the guilty verdict. I now had a real end to my story and added that to my speech which I would be giving the next day.
On Saturday morning I drove to the Independence Visitors Center in Philadelphia where Take it All Back was being held and walked into the room where all the festivities were going on. The atmosphere can only be described as welcoming with everything related to supporting victims and survivors of sexual assault. It was beautiful! I scanned the room for Laura and once I spotted her practically ran over to share the good news. I am not embarrassed to say that we screamed and hugged as we discussed the guilty verdict and briefly talked about what was next as far as his sentencing. This news we shared with the Director Carole and many others who work for WOAR that knew about the case and me since I had been arriving for regular counseling sessions at their offices for quite a long time.
After much anticipation it was now time for the schedule of events to begin which included a proclamation by the Mayor, music and dance performances and then it was my turn. I walked up to the podium with my typewritten speech and Laura joined me but stood just off to the side. I gave that speech through shaky words and tears at times finally at one point reaching for Laura's hand which I held on to as if my life depended on it. When I got to the part and as I shared with the audience the previous day's guilty verdict the crowd erupted in applause and cheers. It was unexpected and overwhelming and I was thankful that it was the last part of my speech because I broke down into Laura's arms after that reaction. Their reaction to my news a direct result of the fact that guilty rape verdicts and difficult to achieve. A sobering fact that we are all trying to change. The support I received from all those people was a lot to handle and as I describe it to you now I feel it all over again.
That was the beginning of my path to telling my story to as many who want to listen. Six years later I am about to give another speech as an honored and invited guest of the Merced County District Attorney and Victim Witness Assistance Program for their National Crime Victims' Rights Week ceremony. I am excited to be here to share my story and spend the day with other victims of violent crimes and support them any way I can. I also get a chance to thank those who help victims through the worst moments of their lives. They are the true hero's which should never be forgotten because if it wasn't for those in Philadelphia law enforcement, the prosecution team and counselors at WOAR I would not be here today.
Two days before the event I met with Laura, she read the speech, which she liked and we talked about what I might expect as I presented it. The very same week Jeffrey Marsalis' Idaho Rape trial was going on and I was following along as best I could from NJ with all my help from the online reports by the local news media there. The next day, Friday, the jury had gotten the case and that evening after my workout I received the message from Philadelphia prosecutor Joe Khan that Marsalis had been convicted of Rape and sentencing was scheduled for a few months later. These were the words I had been waiting years to hear and as I drove home that evening I spoke with Joe who told me the jury deliberated only a few hours and came back with the guilty verdict. I now had a real end to my story and added that to my speech which I would be giving the next day.
On Saturday morning I drove to the Independence Visitors Center in Philadelphia where Take it All Back was being held and walked into the room where all the festivities were going on. The atmosphere can only be described as welcoming with everything related to supporting victims and survivors of sexual assault. It was beautiful! I scanned the room for Laura and once I spotted her practically ran over to share the good news. I am not embarrassed to say that we screamed and hugged as we discussed the guilty verdict and briefly talked about what was next as far as his sentencing. This news we shared with the Director Carole and many others who work for WOAR that knew about the case and me since I had been arriving for regular counseling sessions at their offices for quite a long time.
After much anticipation it was now time for the schedule of events to begin which included a proclamation by the Mayor, music and dance performances and then it was my turn. I walked up to the podium with my typewritten speech and Laura joined me but stood just off to the side. I gave that speech through shaky words and tears at times finally at one point reaching for Laura's hand which I held on to as if my life depended on it. When I got to the part and as I shared with the audience the previous day's guilty verdict the crowd erupted in applause and cheers. It was unexpected and overwhelming and I was thankful that it was the last part of my speech because I broke down into Laura's arms after that reaction. Their reaction to my news a direct result of the fact that guilty rape verdicts and difficult to achieve. A sobering fact that we are all trying to change. The support I received from all those people was a lot to handle and as I describe it to you now I feel it all over again.
That was the beginning of my path to telling my story to as many who want to listen. Six years later I am about to give another speech as an honored and invited guest of the Merced County District Attorney and Victim Witness Assistance Program for their National Crime Victims' Rights Week ceremony. I am excited to be here to share my story and spend the day with other victims of violent crimes and support them any way I can. I also get a chance to thank those who help victims through the worst moments of their lives. They are the true hero's which should never be forgotten because if it wasn't for those in Philadelphia law enforcement, the prosecution team and counselors at WOAR I would not be here today.
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