DVAM: A Look Back

Last Friday brought an end to Domestic Violence Awareness Month and I wanted to look back at what was accomplished in terms of promotion and awareness. The NOMORE organization teamed up with current and former NFL players along with celebrity directors to create a PSA that is being played during Monday and Thursday night football games and during the Sunday games. I personally witnessed the ad being aired in a football stadium during a recent Sunday game. These men stood up to say #NOMORE opening up the dialogue on a subject that has rarely been part of a general topic of discussion. 

In the past few months Hotlines have been flooded with phone calls and staffs had to be increased as a result of not only the awareness campaigns but the light shined on this horrible act of interpersonal violence. Largely in part after the video of Ray Rice beating his then fiance now wife in an Atlantic Casino elevator. As I had written in previous blogs this put a face on something that was for the most part kept behind closed doors and not talked about by the victims. Suddenly the media was talking and sharing their outrage and the public was weighing in too. Some very successful women including Meredith Vieira told their personal story of domestic violence and everything she went through emotionally and physically while being victimized. This allowed many victims to come out of the shadows and reach out for help. 

Then in late August the NFL made sweeping changes to their Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault punishment policy taking a very vocal stand saying it's not OK. Today Ray Rice and his lawyers will begin the process of appealing his punishment essentially turning back the clock. His argument being that he was punished initially by the NFL with a suspension and then received a 2nd punishment after the policy was changed. If this is his idea of turning a corner and repenting it's not the way to go about it.

From what I've learned about domestic violence abusers and as a victim/survivor of a serial date rapist, even after serving their punishments the abusers go back to their abusive ways. In my opinion no punishment for these offenders is long or harsh enough. What we do have in our favor is our voices. I've learned throughout my healing process that my voice along with the many supporters of family, friends and advocates is very powerful and I will use it for however long and far it will take me to stop violence against women (& men) for good!

NFL Team Gets it Right

...I have spoken briefly about my love for football and specifically as a long 'suffering" Philadelphia Eagles fan, a team that I have followed since I was 12. My boyfriend, also being from NJ, has been a fan even longer than I have but now with us living in LA we either have to get up early to watch the game at our local bar or pray for a nationally televised game so we can cheer them on in our Eagles gear in the comfort of our home. This past weekend our beloved Eagles traveled to Phoenix to play the Arizona Cardinals and for Steve's birthday present we flew out and joined thousands of other traveling fans to attend the game. 

After tailgating in the parking lot and getting ourselves psyched up for a tough battle between two 5-1 teams we went in to take our seats and watch pre-game practice. From the moment I walked into the University of Phoenix stadium I became aware of the campaign by the Arizona Cardinals organization to promote awareness for Domestic Violence Awareness and by the time I left the stadium hours later I was thoroughly impressed and wanted to share with everyone all they had done for the campaign.

They had information cards by the concession registers in English and Spanish providing details for safety planning and emergency phone numbers for those having been abused and seeking assistance. Throughout the pre-game and during the game they promoted the sale of purple bracelets and where to purchase them for a $10 donation to domestic violence organizations in the Phoenix area. Finally they played the NOMORE PSA by current and former NFL players stepping forward, standing up and speaking out saying in their own words NOMORE to Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault. It's very powerful to see and hear that echo through the stadium.

There was also a gathering in Phoenix the next day by The Arizona Foundation for Women hosting an event in which former congresswoman Gabby Giffords and her husband Mark Kelly spoke connecting gun violence and women's issues.

We as an informed public who are advocates and activists for the cause of Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault often call out those people and organizations that are doing it wrong in order to affect change. I want to also call out those people and organizations who do it right and hopefully serve as a model and an inspiration to others. The football season is at the halfway point and there are plenty of games left in which the remaining NFL teams who haven't already done so gets involved as the Arizona Cardinals did.