Women Who Write

Through my boyfriend Steve I was introduced to a really cool longtime friend of his, Elle. In the year that I've been in LA we've run into each other at many social events. She had mentioned a monthly gathering that I might be interested in attending and thanks to her invitation yesterday was my first Women Who Write event organized and hosted by Vicki Abelson. It was an amazing experience and I can't wait to return next month. 

Women Who Write is a Reading for Women by Women Who Write and occasionally men too. Songwriters are also included among the guest speakers. My first meeting had an impressive lineup of talent: Musician Sheila E., Actor Activist Mike Farrell and Singer/Songwriter James Lee Stanley who so happened to have collaborated with Sheila E. over 30 years earlier.

The attendees are women of all ages from different backgrounds and their writing talents not only include traditional fiction/non-fiction but poetry, self-help, etc. Some have been coming for years and others like me are new to the group. Invitations come from other members. It was a very positive, uplifting, friendly atmosphere and for someone like me who is new to writing a place where I could soak it all in like a sponge. I was able to connect with several women and discuss other writing discussion groups they attend and have already been invited to one. 

The first guest James Lee Stanley has a list of credits a mile long and got up with his guitar to sing several of his songs. Sheila E. spontaneously joined in with shakers he brought with him. Then Mike Farrell got up and told a very inspirational story of his journey as a young man before he started acting. He then read a little from his book. Finally Sheila E. (who I was beyond excited to see) spoke about how she was surrounded by music as a child by her very talented family, how she learned to play percussion from her dad and the beginning of her career. She went on to talk about her current passion project of working with foster children and introducing music and arts back into their lives and the schools in Oakland CA where she was born and raised. She talked about a particular tour that brought her to writing and the emotional personal confrontation of being sexually abused as a child and her own speak out campaign on the subject. 

It was an honor to be there while she shared her path to healing from such a horrific experience. Sheila is a beautiful person inside and out with a relentless positive spirit. I was moved to purchase her book so I could learn more about her life and career. Afterward while she signed my book I shared my story of date rape and how we have a similar speak out and awareness campaign. She had some very kind words for me which I appreciated. I then mentioned how I saw her play in Philly in 1984 and she smiled as that was the very early days of her career.

A day later and I'm still invigorated by my experience of the entire event and look forward to learning from experienced female writers and hopefully improving personally and professionally.

Shelia E. 'The Beat of My Own Drum'

Inspired by Another Survivor

...Back in April I had participated in the first annual Lace Up for RAINN Virtual 5k. After completing the walk I tweeted my picture and participation proudly and as a result I connected with another survivor on Twitter that also participated and who has now become a very good friend. Although separated by thousands of miles, 3 times zones and have never met face to face those things don't matter. We have a bond that is having been sexually assaulted. Not only that but we each spoke out, contacted law enforcement and sought counseling by those specifically trained to deal with our issues. Dana is also a blogger, advocate but in addition a talented musician (something we do not share). 

After exchanging just a few tweets we became instant friends and communicated frequently about what we were each doing to try and make a difference. Our stories are different as she is a survivor of childhood sexual assault and mine is being drugged and date raped as an adult. This does not matter because the big picture goals are the same. We each have something to offer the other since on one side I have been speaking for several years and on the other she began blogging and journaling long before I decided to put my words in black and white. We can share everything from accomplishments to setbacks and frustrations and consult one another on our goals when necessary. Not since meeting the other Jeffrey Marsalis victims and becoming friends with Kristen have I felt this comfortable with someone but with Dana she and I get up every day and work on our missions. I am thankful to have her as a friend.

Which brings me to launching my blog. It hadn't even been on my radar until a few months into JoAnnSpeaksOut but after getting more familiar with Twitter and advocacy work it seemed like the natural progression. Steve had a blog and was encouraging me to get one started saying it was the perfect way to get my message out to the masses and hopefully turn it into something bigger. Then once I met Dana and began reading her blog it put my creativity and motivation on the fast track. Also once the college semester was over and my contacts would be on their Holiday breaks I would have more time to devote to writing. This was new territory for me and I wanted to focus as much attention to it as possible.

My story has a beginning, middle and end (unlike the majority of rape victims) so when I first wrote my speech that's the path I took and logically I would write the blog that way but I had no idea what it was going to do for me personally. Each day I sat down at my desk to write another piece of the story thoughts and perspective that I never knew I had flowed out onto the computer screen. I think it was because I had the opportunity to break it down to the tiniest details in addition to have the perspective that time offers you. This all began 10 years ago for me so that's a lot of time to have thoughts bouncing around in your head. I was now also 2,500 miles away living in a new town, a new home with a new life. It was almost as if I could now step outside of myself and look in to what I experienced. As the days past and the posts were written I realized that I liked what I was doing, could say everything I was thinking and even share a bit of the funny side to it.

I want to thank all my blog readers and let you know I appreciate each and every one of you for taking the time to read what I have to say and hope you continue to enjoy my posts...

If you are interested in Dana's story and her blog go to AfterSilence87