2000 Vinyasas - The Movie

In March I was sitting in a room with other Make-A-Wish volunteers for a special training session. As I have recently stated when I meet people that ask what I do it frequently starts a conversation. Next to me was a UCLA student and sorority member so I mentioned that I spoke on her campus last year for the Clothesline Project & Speak Out event for Take Back the Night. We briefly chatted about her school campus, my impressions after visiting and speaking there then I handed her my card. During the break another volunteer approached me to say he overheard what I did and told me his wife was working on a movie project in which the lead character was sexually assaulted. He asked if I would speak to her further about my story to which I responded 'of course' and we exchanged cards. 

Within a few days Justine and I began an email correspondence discussing our backgrounds the path to my speaking career and how she came to write and develop the movie 2000 Vinyasas. We then set up a time to meet and discuss a collaboration. I also sent her a few questions ahead of the meeting because I wanted to spread the word about this unique movie.

This taken directly from the project website "2000 Vinyasas is the story of a young woman's transformation and awakening through the power of yoga. After a devastating sexual assault, Vanessa loses everything but learns that true recovery and true love are possible when her focus shifts from what she needs to what she can do for others." This movie, although not an exact account, is similar to Justine's story of sexual assault and healing through Yoga. After the assault she confided in her mother who found the best counselor in NYC so Justine could begin intensive therapy and work towards healing. She continued and completed her counseling after a year and a half. At the same time she was also participating in intense physical workouts including triathalons but decided to transition into yoga as her counseling began to wrap up. Almost immediately and like a revelation Justine realized yoga was what she needed all along and began to study the practice of yoga. She describes a peaceful moment when the story came to her all at once and went home to write it in just 2 days. 

The course to develop this movie was atypical. The first time Justine heard the script read aloud was very emotional for her and didn't like the way it sounded so put it aside to forgot about it, until she met her now partner Jeff Caldwell while working together as leads in the play Arsenic & Old Lace. They became fast friends and while Jeff was taking a writing class he asked if she had anything so she decided to hand over the script which he actually loved. Their partnership began then leading to the development of the movie 2000 Vinyasas. It's been a whirlwind ever since including a fundraising campaign and their tireless work to find additional backing to get the movie made. Justine explained to me If that doesn't happen within the next few months they will move forward on their own independently.

Justine describes the process of writing the screenplay and everything that is involved with making the movie helps contribute to the ongoing healing process from her sexual assault. It forces her to be comfortable with saying it aloud and when it's not in her own voice it's through the voice of the actor playing Vanessa. As a victim of sexual assault I can relate to how difficult it is to say the words aloud and the lengthy process involved in getting to that point where you can say it easily.

Finally, Justine felt it important to add the movie also serves to enlighten the industry and the public that the subject of sexual assault should not be so taboo that it can't be the topic of a feature film. There are television shows and movies that use rape in their story lines for entertainment and voyeuristic purposes and that is acceptable but the lead character based upon a real woman's sexual assault is not good for mass market appeal. This movie enlightens the moviegoer by how complicated the recovery process is for victims of sexual assault.

More information about the movie, the project and becoming a supporter can be found through the website link below.
2000 Vinyasas

Trauma-Sensitive Yoga

At a recent CSU Long Beach Survivor Recovery Panel I had the privilege of sitting with 3 other rape survivors, all strong, brave women who worked their way into healthy, productive lives after such heinous assaults. I shared my experience of the event the following day in a blog called 'Many Ways to Heal'. Although I didn't go into much detail at the time because I wanted to do further research on how one of the women found her way into a holistic approach of healing that I thought was important to share with as many as possible. It's called Trauma-Sensitive Yoga and what I believe to be an important alternative to the traditional counseling of talk therapy. I first met Zabie Khorakiwala at UC Irvine's Greek community Peer counselor training. Zabie is a Violence Prevention Coordinator for UCI CARE Center and was running the training group where I was an invited speaker. Until meeting again at the CSULB event I didn't know of her story but as soon as I heard the path she took towards healing and what she's contributed as a result I knew how important it was to spread her message and yoga program.

In May 2007 Zabie went out to celebrate senior sorority night with her other sisters. She was president of her sorority and this would be the last big night out together before finals and graduation. Zabie put her drink down before going into the bathroom but when she returned to the bar and took a sip of the drink she began to feel the immediate effects. She was sexually assaulted that night and describes the feeling of being an out of body experience, knowing what was happening but powerless to do anything about it. 

Zabie stayed in bed for several days following the rape focusing only on her medical needs but knew she had to seek professional attention. Although she called her best friend to accompany her she didn't disclose the reason why she was going to the Student Health Center. Alone in the exam room with the Nurse Practitioner she disclosed details of the rape where at that point the UCI police were contacted. It was then her best friend realized what had happened. Zabie gave her statement to the police but told them she didn't want to pursue further action as she only wanted to complete her plans to graduate and attend grad school and asked them to keep the report confidential.

The next few weeks and months were pressure-filled with school responsibilities, family health issues and the aftermath of a sexual assault and everything that comes with that traumatic event. She stopped wearing makeup, began dressing only in sweats and not taking her final school assignments seriously ultimately hitting a low point. As a result Zabie decided to make an appointment at the school counseling center. After revealing to the counselor her story of sexual assault other personal challenges she was having the counselor responded with 'That really sucks'. Zabie was left with a sour impression of the experience never to return knowing that counselor was ill-equipped. Later in San Diego where she began her new job post graduation but still not feeling well she visited another counselor yet still not finding the correct fit only feeling drained physically after each session. During the rape she described feeling frozen and the talk therapy was only bringing back those feelings without the benefits of a positive result.

Zabie was working at a homeless shelter and befriended two co-workers who talked about yoga, how much they enjoyed the practice and persuaded her to attend that very first class. She remembers feeling nervous while getting ready because it was something so new and unfamiliar. The positive effects were immediate feeling physically in sync and safe and can only describe it as "having her breath back." Following the sexual assault her life was frantic, chaotic and out of control with deep-seeded trauma. Yoga allowed her to be in the quiet of her own mind, be in her own body and leaving it all up to her to have the resiliency to heal. She had a powerful, transforming experience, signing up for a membership going as often as 5 days a week. After moving to Washington DC to attend graduate school she found a yoga studio there and then a new studio when she moved back home to Irvine.

The path to trauma-sensitive yoga began with teacher training at Core Power Yoga in Cost Mesa later followed by a week long training in the Berkshires MA at the Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health. There 150 yoga teachers with 200 & 500 hours training all working with different communities of trauma to include rape crisis center advocates, police, prison employees working on restorative justice. She was finally surrounded by people "who get it" incorporating yoga with other services such as the power of body based treatment and learned how it's different than traditional yoga classes. This practice of yoga teaches how to empower the survivor to move in ways that feels comfortable for them and uses empowerment based language such as: Listen to what your body needs - You are always in control of your practice - I invite you to meet your body and breath where it is today. Other important details to be mindful of are props like straps and candlelight in the yoga studio. Sensitivity adjustments must be made such as no physical assists can be used with survivors only verbal cue's. The goal is to create a safe experience. 

Zabie created her own 8 week program for sexual assault survivors out of this training. She developed an important intake process asking if the survivor is ready to experience the courses intimate practice for the next 8 weeks. Also asking what injuries they may have due to self-harming, for example and are they suffering from anxiety, depression, currently meeting with a counselor and why do they want to participate in the program. At that time the survivor may share what happened to them and what's going on in their life and where they are in the process of healing. Upon completing the 8 weeks it's a transforming experience for the survivor. At the first class Zabie provides each student with a safety jar that they can decorate to help them feel safe and happy. She gives them an intention rock at each class to write what they intend or something they may need more of in their life this allows them to see progress they made and at the last class the jar is brought in so the student can share their journey each other. Survivors have supported each other through the court process, title ix, counseling, law enforcement, how to set boundaries with family and friends, adapt self-care into their life and being intimate again.

She now teaches her program 3 days a week: Tuesdays at the Orange County rape crisis center Community Service Program - Wednesdays at Be The Change Yoga in Irvine and for the UC Irvine students Thursday (8 week course). If you are interested in learning more about Zabie's program please visit her Facebook page or Breathe Network Practitioner page both links provided below.

Zabie is now co-authoring a book and this has been taken directly from her Facebook page.

We can't wait to connect with you and share your stories of inspiration and hope in Transcending Sexual Violence through Yoga: The Book! Has yoga had a powerful impact on your healing process? We would love to hear your story. Email us at alexismarbach@gmail.com and zkhoraki@gmail.com.

Zabie has also published several articles and been interviewed on the subject.

Transcending Sexual Violence Through Yoga

The Breathe Network

Published Articles & Accomplishments & Video
Huffington Post, 'How Yoga Helped Me Transcend Sexual Violence'
Presented at the NSVRC National Sexual Assault Conference - 2012
Elephant Journal, 'Make Any Yoga Class Trauma-Sensitive'
Elephant Journal 'Why Talk Therapy Doesn't Heal Rape Trauma: A Research-Based Profile'
Breathe OC Magazine, 'Transcending Trauma'
OC Magazine, 'O.C. Yoga Class Aims to Help Victims of Sexual Violence'
UCLA, Feminist Magazine, Kickass Women
Rachel Grant Coaching - Wrote 3 blogs featuring specialized posture for home practice:
'Transcending Sexual Violence Through Yoga'
'Yoga Postures to Support Healing for Survivors of Sexual Trauma'
'Embodiment and the Creation for the Soulful Relationship with Your Body'
Pinterest Blog, 'Healer and Trauma-Sensitive Yoga Teacher'
Huffington Post Interview - Yoga: Helping Survivors of Sexual Trauma to Heal
Transcending Sexual Violence Through Yoga: 8 Tools for Teaching Trauma-Sensitive Yoga

Zabie is the perfect example of a woman who wanted to heal so desperately and wouldn't give up until she found what was right for her. Then in an act of selflessness she shared her personal story and the path she took with others in order to help them heal. 

“In the United States, we have built an incredible crisis advocacy response to survivors of sexual violence—sustained by the relentless dedication and unstoppable passion of advocates and volunteers who have put their bodies, minds and spirits on the line in a field that requires a 24-hour day, 365-day year commitment.

 Yet, after the advocacy in the Emergency Room, when the community support group stops meeting or for those who never had the opportunity or the safety to say the words “I was raped” aloud, where do survivors turn next as they navigate this (sometimes) lifelong journey of healing?

 Where do our advocates and educators, who are so often survivors, turn when the trauma they witness daily starts to merge with the trauma they worked so hard to heal, and the line between their trauma and their client’s trauma begins to blur?

It is time we think more creatively, more holistically, more honestly and more intentionally about how to best support survivors in healing; move outside of our standard practices and typical referrals to finally meet the body, mind and spiritual needs of our diverse survivor population.”

– Molly Boeder Harris, Founder & Executive Director of The Breathe Network