This post was inspired by the Martin Luther King Jr holiday and implementation of a Day of Service. In my early 30's I began volunteering shortly after the death of Princess Diana. I admired her for true courage and bravery as a woman who put her flaws out there for the world to see and strength it took to stand up to a powerful royal family on how she wanted to raise her children and live her life. In the early years of the AIDS epidemic and crisis she went to Africa to visit the infected people. Just weeks after her death in 1997 I decided to honor Princess Diana's memory by signing up to volunteer after approaching a booth at a Fitness & Health Expo. I could have volunteered anywhere but my mother had many gay friends and at the time knew of some who lost their battle with the evil disease that was AIDS so I chose an HIV testing clinic. I spent 2 1/2 years at the Clinic just one evening a week until I took a new job that wouldn't allow me those hours. The staff there was so appreciative and for me it took little time out of my day to offer and I loved working with them and meeting all the people who came in to be tested.
Fast forward to the Spring of 2009. I had spent the past 3 1/2 years going through the legal process and rape crisis counseling as a result of my being drugged and raped by Jeffrey Marsalis. He had now been sentenced to 21 years in a PA prison for Sexual Assault and Life in an ID prison for rape to be serviced consecutively. I was nearing the completion of my counseling and feeling mentally healthy. I now had a lot of free time on my hands since it wouldn't be taken up by going to court and therapy sessions not to mention I had the free time emotionally to add something like volunteering to my life. I had a few ideas as to what kind of work I wanted to do which was with children in some capacity. I had yet to be married and no children so this would be a way to spend time with and help them all at the same time. I did some research on global volunteer organizations because I am a travel junkie and liked the idea of traveling to countries where they are less fortunate than we are in terms of education, infrastructure, medicine, etc. I then researched Big Brothers Big Sisters as my brother benefited from them when he was a child. We grew up without a father and his Big Brother was a great addition to my brother's life. I also called my friend Renee to ask her about Make-A-Wish because she had been a wish grantor for them a few years earlier and told me about her positive experiences. After a few weeks of weighing all my options I finally narrowed it down to Make-A-Wish and started the process right away. Within 6 months I had not only completed the paperwork, background check and training but was volunteering at the annual Walk For Wishes fundraiser and assigned my mentor at the event. Just weeks after the event I was a full fledged volunteer Wish Grantor and leading wishes.
Moving to California in 2013 didn't change anything either. I reached out to the Make-A-Wish LA chapter and began the process of transferring before I even got out here. They welcomed me with open arms. I attended the training, as each chapter does things a little differently, worked the Walk For Wishes and finally started granting West Coast wishes. Later today I will be meeting another volunteer and we will be attending a Wish Reveal for a very special young teenage girl.
Many victims of sexual assault end up giving back in some way such as becoming advocates or working the hotline at a rape crisis center. I was giving speeches and telling my story to advocates and on colleges campuses as part of awareness and prevention but that wasn't enough to fill up my time and essentially preoccupy my mind away from the subject of sexual assault. Choosing an organization outside of rape and sexual assault gave my brain the availability to heal in other ways. It was rewarding on multiple levels but it also allowed me to not think about me. I was tired of being inside myself all the time. The trials and counseling were all about me and while a victim is healing from a recent trauma that's the way it should be but to move forward in the healing process Life has to go on.
If you ever thought about volunteering today as a National Day of Service is the perfect day to start the process. If you have been through a traumatic event such as date rape or sexual assault and think you're emotionally ready to give your time to someone else today is the perfect day to start the process. Volunteering helped me in so many ways to move past the violence that was inflicted on me. It has become a valuable part of my life and I can't imagine not part of a wonderful organization such as Make-A-Wish.
To learn more about the MLK National Day of Service or Make-A-Wish I have provided links below.
MLK Day of Service
Make-A-Wish
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