Unforgivable

...It's now July 2010 and been a year since the Idaho sentencing, the Primetime Crime interview and I was very busy. I just completed my day long training to be a Make-A-Wish volunteer and excited to be assigned a mentor and move on to granting wishes. A lot of good things were happening which brings me to a very common subject among victims of violent crimes, that of Forgiveness.

The topic of Forgiveness comes up frequently when I see interviews given by victims or family members of victims. I am very passionate about this subject. It is a very personal decision but in turn I feel victims are pressured somehow into feeling the need to Forgive their attacker. I do not believe this is a requirement in order to move on with your life. But I would never sway a victim making the decision to Forgive. They will receive the same support from me as long as they are comfortable with it and can live with themselves afterward.

I have chosen not to Forgive Jeffrey Marsalis for drugging and raping me. He doesn't deserve a gesture that is so grand. I believe Forgiveness is reserved for those people who are in your life or have crossed your path that have made mistakes whether intentionally or unintentionally that know they have done wrong, have sincerely apologized and genuinely promise not to hurt you again. Jeffrey Marsalis doesn't fit into that criteria. He is a sociopath in every sense of the definition. Anything he did or does is to only benefit himself and his apology to the Idaho judge just before sentencing didn't fool anyone. He is a violent sexual predator who didn't take responsibility for his actions and blamed the victims and given the chance would rape again.

Forgiveness takes a tremendous amount of soul searching and energy to achieve and I wasn't going to waste my time Forgiving Jeffrey Marsalis. Instead I decided to direct my energy towards good and not evil. I chose to help other sexual assault victims directly or indirectly by speaking out and telling my story and by donating as much as my free time was available to grant wishes to innocent children fighting life-threatening diseases. I donate to charities I am passionate about and stand up for causes that are important to me. My time is much better spent doing these things than it would be struggling internally to Forgive Marsalis. These things I have chosen to direct my efforts towards will last my lifetime and Forgiving Marsalis would come and go. I am also a practicing Catholic and made peace with God about this subject.

I am comfortable in the decision I made 4 years ago and like the day I decided to dedicate myself to helping put Jeffrey Marsalis behind bars I haven't regretted the decision not to Forgive Jeffrey Marsalis.